Social Isolation Causes Sickness And Death From Disconnected Feelings

[mrchibbs]

Perception of loneliness, IMO, is the major player here, as opposed to isolation itself.

Ray makes this point regularly, it's the the stress itself, but the way we perceive this stress which makes all the difference.
This explains why a very intense tennis match or basketball game can be very stressful/harmful but also very beneficial,
depending on the mindset of the player. If someone thoroughly enjoys playing basketball with their friends for example,
the stress of playing is going to lead to positive adaptions.

If someone forces themselves to go on a boring morning jog because they ''feel like they have to'', it's probably going to lead to maladaptive
changes.

It takes sufficient energy to change one's perspective on things, but yeah it can reshape the way we think about loneliness in general.
We do need human contact, but it's not necessarily healthy to depend on it 24/7.

I'm glad you went through the worst and came out better for it @Jib

 

[Jib]

Ray makes this point regularly, it's the the stress itself, but the way we perceive this stress which makes all the difference.
This explains why a very intense tennis match or basketball game can be very stressful/harmful but also very beneficial,
depending on the mindset of the player. If someone thoroughly enjoys playing basketball with their friends for example,
the stress of playing is going to lead to positive adaptions.

If someone forces themselves to go on a boring morning jog because they ''feel like they have to'', it's probably going to lead to maladaptive
changes.

It takes sufficient energy to change one's perspective on things, but yeah it can reshape the way we think about loneliness in general.
We do need human contact, but it's not necessarily healthy to depend on it 24/7.

I'm glad you went through the worst and came out better for it @Jib

Thanks. I appreciate it.

Also agree 100%. Actually, I've been experimenting with a "mental trick" lately. Thinking about stuff I love doing (woodworking for example), and then trying to "transplant" those feelings to exercise. I actually already really enjoy exercise, but only one form: gymnastic rings. Funnily enough, my energy levels seemed to rise to the occasion for working out.

I notice that even if I'm extremely tired, if I have parts come in for a project, I'm ready to go. I could be feeling like a zombie, but a fun project will get my dopamine going and I will snap out of it and seemingly get energy out of nowhere. I wondered if I could apply the same thing to gym rings. It's very exciting to me to think about getting stronger and being able to do more advanced things on the rings. And thinking that way does seem to help with motivation and energy.

Getting myself mentally excited definitely seems to work. Funny. The mind is a powerful thing.

I will say this: being in a relationship changed me. Having the experience made a big difference. Having good memories can make a big difference. I still laugh about things alone while thinking about one of my friends who moved away. We really hit it off with our sense of humor, never met anyone else like him. Having those memories helps me a lot to not feel alone. I can joke around with myself and still feel like he's here and we're joking about stuff together.

 

[baron]

Perception of loneliness, IMO, is the major player here, as opposed to isolation itself.

Just based on my own experience, being better fed, meditating regularly, and having used quite a bit of NLP on myself, as well as working through a lot of trauma, I am much more comfortable alone than ever. I used to be deeply bothered to the point of being suicidal, all over the idea of being so isolated, that I was never going to find anyone to get close to or have fun with, etc.

The past few months, I've been more isolated than I've been in a long time, but a lot happier. Especially after meditating regularly, my perspective on "loneliness" has changed quite a bit.

I think isolation can either break you down and leave you broken, or break you down and build you back up again. I definitely reached a point where I was so lonely I attempted suicide, a couple times. After surviving through that, it's like a switch flipped or something, and these days I'm much more able to enjoy being alone, and just enjoying being alive.

That being said, I consider myself lucky to now be able to enjoy being alone. I don't think it's the case for the maority of people, especially people like me with social anxiety or other issues that can make normal socializing very difficult, or even impossible. When you feel trapped, that's going to cause a lot of stress.

Having the option to not be alone is one thing. Not having the option to be with other people in the way you want can be very, very stressful. Really, I think my entire life up until a few months ago was a living hell purely because I was so lonely. Then it was like something just broke inside of me while I was meditating one day and ever since then I've felt a lot more able to cope. And then actually enjoy things. It's pretty crazy.

Perception is everything, but to argue that is also to lack compassion. There is so much value in being there for people who are lonely. Especially the elderly.

I also find that isolation is my only solace of health and I can actually start making progress in things outside of it. Whenever I have to be near someone vaccinated or stressed for extended periods of time, I revert back to the instinct of just trying to survive.