Peat Girl's Logger

Jennifer said:

Glad to hear you're doing so well, Peat's_Girl! That's awesome!

nom nom nom

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OMG, Jen you've made me seriously hungry reading this...
I guess my biggest issue is that I suck at cooking and overstress when it comes to eating. I gotta remind myself, EAT DAMN IT, EAT and also to CALM THE F**** down.

Jen you should make a Peat inspired cookbook! Those ideas seem sinfully tasty!

Just finished another Peat interview. They're so dense I almost feel the need to limit my Peat intake per day, while I usually devour a book in a sleepless night.

(Speaking of, welcome back, ****88 up circadian rhythm. My arch nemesis... No matter how good I am I eventually slip back into the habit of sleeping during the morning.)

Anyway, one of the things that struck me was this concept of learned helplessness.
I think that's the best way to describe what I've been feeling for so long, especially before going to sleep. My sleep is better now, in that I can finally fall asleep, whereas before my heartbeat would just increase and I would feel panic and yes, this feeling of helplessness...

I just don't know how to escape it since my circumstances are outside my control... Things are always going from bad to worse and haven't gotten better in the last 4 years. I've lost all hope, and the notion of a career or any sort of dreams I had when I was younger seem utterly preposterous.
So sometimes I have to explain why I'm latching onto these crazy diets, because it's the one thing I can control, even if I can't control my circumstances, my finances, my luck or even my weight and appetite...
I don't know... I really don't know how to de-stress something that cannot be physically altered...

Maybe that's where this habit of self-sabotage comes from? The closer I'd get to something I want the more compelled I am to annihilate it. This probably extends to the recurring pasta episodes lately... Like it gives me pleasure causing myself harm... Is that weird?...
It's like part of my thought process, "I did this so I must punish myself by..."
Why do I think like this?...

Anyway, I've upped my milk to 2-3 glasses. Sometimes I'm thirsty and my go-to is to pour myself a glass of milk. I've been experiencing headaches that might be due to dehydration (I don't drink anything else except for milk and OJ). And also these strange bone aches... I can't explain them. Maybe they're muscle pains but I feel them in my bones almost, especially my spine. Probably a history of cheap chairs and bad posture, that seems impossible to fix now.

Also, I'm out of gelatin and I'm planning on ordering some from iHerb, any ideas regarding supplements or anything I should get while I'm on there? I found some freeze-dried bovine liver, seems more cost effective to take it than keep buying it.

Jennifer's got some great food ideas.
If wheat's too rough on you but you want pasta in your sauce, rice noodles can sometimes kind of work. Not quite the same appeal as durum, but I eat them occasionally - last time with prawns, mushrooms, zucchini and garlic cooked in butter.
If you are getting headaches from dehydration, do drink more. I have to watch that too. (Drinking too much can also get me.) If your thirst doesn't guide me, watch to output colour.
Posture habits can be changed. I had a lower back disk prolapse in my early forties, and I've got a lot fussier about not sitting in saggy couches etc since then. Having low energy makes it harder, but practicing can help. Some yoga pses are great for activating those posture muscles, too.

Peat's_Girl said:

Jennifer said:

Glad to hear you're doing so well, Peat's_Girl! That's awesome!

nom nom nom

Click to expand...

OMG, Jen you've made me seriously hungry reading this...
I guess my biggest issue is that I suck at cooking and overstress when it comes to eating. I gotta remind myself, EAT DAMN IT, EAT and also to CALM THE F**** down.

Jen you should make a Peat inspired cookbook! Those ideas seem sinfully tasty!

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Haha! Narouz suggested I make a Peat inspired cookbook too. I guess I should get cracking on that!

What's funny is I was never much of a cook either and then I got hurt and I used it as a way to teach myself to walk again, holding on to counters and such. And I realized...WOW! I don't stink at cooking or baking after all. At one point, I was on some kind of baking high creating elaborate cakes for holidays that family still talks about to this day. It's hard to trump a moist lemon cake with a raspberry jam and mousse filling covered in a white chocolate butter cream frosting. Hmm...I'll have to come up with a Peaty version of that.

Peat's_Girl said:

I just don't know how to escape it since my circumstances are outside my control... Things are always going from bad to worse and haven't gotten better in the last 4 years. I've lost all hope, and the notion of a career or any sort of dreams I had when I was younger seem utterly preposterous.

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This sounds so much like conversations I've had with my friends. Just know you're not the first or last person to feel this way. People will tell you you're young so you have your whole life ahead of you and that's true, but even if you're older, you still have that chance to get your dreams. It isn't a race. If you're still breathing, you've got a chance!

Peat's_Girl said:

So sometimes I have to explain why I'm latching onto these crazy diets, because it's the one thing I can control, even if I can't control my circumstances, my finances, my luck or even my weight and appetite...
I don't know... I really don't know how to de-stress something that cannot be physically altered...

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Yes, this! I've tried to explain to people that my food OCD has always been about control and my lack of it in my life. Anytime my life was stressful and circumstances were unavoidable or "out of my locust of control," I turned to my diet, the one thing I felt I could control. So when I talk about disordered eating, it doesn't have to imply an attention to starve oneself. And really, I actually think the starvation part can develop just from messing around with a diet. So even restricting the kinds of food we allow ourselves to eat in order to perfect our diet can sometimes lead to unintentional starvation which triggers the disorder. It's a self-perpetuating cycle. The Minnesota Starvation Experiment is a perfect example of this.

Peat's_Girl said:

Maybe that's where this habit of self-sabotage comes from? The closer I'd get to something I want the more compelled I am to annihilate it. This probably extends to the recurring pasta episodes lately... Like it gives me pleasure causing myself harm... Is that weird?...
It's like part of my thought process, "I did this so I must punish myself by..."
Why do I think like this?...

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Could it be that the closer you get to something you want, the more you fear you'll lose it based on past experiences so you just get what you believe to be the inevitable, over and done with?

When you say "I did this," what is "this" that you feel you need to punish yourself for?

Jennifer said:

Peat's_Girl said:

Jennifer said:

Glad to hear you're doing so well, Peat's_Girl! That's awesome!

nom nom nom

Click to expand...

OMG, Jen you've made me seriously hungry reading this...
I guess my biggest issue is that I suck at cooking and overstress when it comes to eating. I gotta remind myself, EAT DAMN IT, EAT and also to CALM THE F**** down.

Jen you should make a Peat inspired cookbook! Those ideas seem sinfully tasty!

Click to expand...

Haha! Narouz suggested I make a Peat inspired cookbook too. I guess I should get cracking on that!

What's funny is I was never much of a cook either and then I got hurt and I used it as a way to teach myself to walk again, holding on to counters and such. And I realized...WOW! I don't stink at cooking or baking after all. At one point, I was on some kind of baking high creating elaborate cakes for holidays that family still talks about to this day. It's hard to trump a moist lemon cake with a raspberry jam and mousse filling covered in a white chocolate butter cream frosting. Hmm...I'll have to come up with a Peaty version of that.

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I'm dead serious though, Jen.
If you self-publish on Amazon you'll probably end up raking some dough and popularity because everyone who follows Peat will want to get their hands on it, even if it's simply because yours would be the ONLY one!

I actually joke with my bf that the only reason a lot of these demi-gurus from Paleo and Primal get published or famous with their blogs is because they started writing when Paleo was relatively obscure...
And I totally missed that bandwagon!
I should have made a Paleo blog too, because I was among the first few hundreds who read Mark's Daily Apple... (Of course, I'm a failure by Paleo standards, fat, sun-phobic and unable to lose weight but at the time I managed to lose weight with boat loads of fasting and exercise, I should have used my my brief thinness to advertise my success ;D)

But yeah, you should totally do it! You can explain some simple Peat principles and have like a snack, breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert section!
I'm willing to offer my esteemed editing skills! (put my creative writing degree to use, since right now its only possible use is as toilet paper ;D).

Jennifer said:

When you say "I did this," what is "this" that you feel you need to punish yourself for?

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Yeah, I think you totally coined it... It's a fear of losing it if I get it... We've had such bad luck lately that it seems like every day we step once forward, we're pushed two steps back. There's other things too like being too shy to move up in the corporate world or being shy to dress well cause people will think "How sad, that chubby girl is trying too hard" and lame ***t like that. I ended up becoming too shy to go to the store by myself.

Usually if I feel like I overate or skipped an exercise day, I feel like I have to punish myself not to do it again. I definitely feel like it's a race sometimes, like I'm missing out every day I don't eat well or something. I know it's irrational but... Somewhere there's an underlying belief that drives this behaviour.
Maybe because I let myself get this big in the first place? I actually used to be a super judgemental, shallow girl. So I'd judge people the same way I judge myself now... It's gotten worse now because I met someone who basically confirmed what I thought of myself and it made it "real" for me. Now it's hard to get rid of these thoughts even though I know they don't matter.

Oh and the OCD! I actually developed it in my 20s... It started with food but it extended itself to other things. Like crooked items bother me now and I feel I need to fix them... I'm trying to reign that in cause I will go crazy... (Our place isn't exactly pristine... )

Peat's_Girl said:

But yeah, you should totally do it! You can explain some simple Peat principles and have like a snack, breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert section!
I'm willing to offer my esteemed editing skills! (put my creative writing degree to use, since right now its only possible use is as toilet paper ;D).

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You know, you give a great sales pitch. Add to that your editing skills, something in which I sorely lack, you make it hard to resist.

Peat's_Girl said:

Jennifer said:

When you say "I did this," what is "this" that you feel you need to punish yourself for?

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Yeah, I think you totally coined it... It's a fear of losing it if I get it... We've had such bad luck lately that it seems like every day we step once forward, we're pushed two steps back. There's other things too like being too shy to move up in the corporate world or being shy to dress well cause people will think "How sad, that chubby girl is trying too hard" and lame s*** like that. I ended up becoming too shy to go to the store by myself.

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You are my mirror, P_G! You reflect back to me exactly the same things I've thought and felt about myself. This may be no consolation, but I get you! I hear you!

Truth is, if you want to dress well, you do it because you know you deserve it and forget the mental hula hoops of trying to figure out how others will perceive you. That's out of your hands and not on you. That's on them. It's about self-respect. You deserve to have self-respect. You deserve to know your worth. If dressing well makes you feel good about yourself, then I think you should dress well because it's bringing you closer to knowing you.

Peat's_Girl said:

Usually if I feel like I overate or skipped an exercise day, I feel like I have to punish myself not to do it again. I definitely feel like it's a race sometimes, like I'm missing out every day I don't eat well or something. I know it's irrational but... Somewhere there's an underlying belief that drives this behaviour.

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You just defined what makes the diet and health industry one of the most successful businesses of our time. It relies on you blaming and shaming yourself for perceived failures, for being human and having human instincts that override what those false beliefs, that have been ingrained in your head, tell you. It relies on you hating your body, hating your "lack of willpower," your lack of motivation, your lack of drive to push through the pain at all costs and all that other nonsense.

Be happy that you dodged the Paleo blogging bullet. I'd much rather read your blog of "This Is My Life!" Completey interesting and relatable with a genuine honesty, all packaged in your humorous and witty writing style. So a creative writing degree, huh? I can see that! :)

Peat's_Girl said:

Maybe because I let myself get this big in the first place? I actually used to be a super judgemental, shallow girl. So I'd judge people the same way I judge myself now...

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Believe it or not, your once "shallowness" and judgements towards others actually says more about your lack of self-esteem and judgements toward yourself at the time, not perceived arrogance. My belief is it all starts at home. What I mean by that is, we can't give to others what we don't have ourselves or for ourselves. Your home a.k.a "you" can only give true respect, love and acceptance for all walks of life if you have this for yourself. Sounds corny maybe, but I find it holds truth. I believe we were born knowing our worth, but life, family, society slowly strips it from us. We all want to be unique/special, but then chastise those who are different, including ourselves. I don't believe it's intentional because it's been handed down to us, but at some point we need to stop the cycle.

How do we do that? This is the hard part. This is were rubber meets the road. What you tell yourself, your inner dialogue, really adds up and shapes you, your belief system and your world. When you look in the mirror do you beat that girl up or do you have compassion for her and love her unconditionally? That no matter if everyone else rejects or neglects you or let's you down, you will never reject, neglect or let yourself down. That you will always be your greatest ally and have your back even when you fail.

I preach, but I've also been trying to practice this myself. I'm a work in progress.

Peat's_Girl said:

It's gotten worse now because I met someone who basically confirmed what I thought of myself and it made it "real" for me. Now it's hard to get rid of these thoughts even though I know they don't matter.

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Is this person still in your life?

Peat's_Girl said:

Oh and the OCD! I actually developed it in my 20s... It started with food but it extended itself to other things. Like crooked items bother me now and I feel I need to fix them... I'm trying to reign that in cause I will go crazy... (Our place isn't exactly pristine... )

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I can so relate! This will sound silly, but I started with my panty drawer. I always folded then and had to line them up perfectly. I now just throw them in a pile in the drawer.

In terms of purchasing items and inspecting them for inperfections (bad, I know LOL), my solution was to change what I liked. I started getting into vintage, antiques, primitive and salvaged things. They come already dinged up and I find that gives them character and a beauty all their own. kind of like one of kind, no two dings alike! LOL And some of the most interesting clothing is asymmetrical or torn.

Jennifer said:

I can so relate! This will sound silly, but I started with my panty drawer. I always folded then and had to line them up perfectly. I now just throw them in a pile in the drawer.

In terms of purchasing items and inspecting them for inperfections (bad, I know LOL), my solution was to change what I liked. I started getting into vintage, antiques, primitive and salvaged things. They come already dinged up and I find that gives them character and a beauty all their own. kind of like one of kind, no two dings alike! LOL And some of the most interesting clothing is asymmetrical or torn.

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I was diagnosed with OCD at age 20. In college, my sorority sisters used to poke fun at me because ALL of my bras and panties were colored coordinated, flawlessly matched, folded to perfection and arranged by color according to the rainbow (Red, Peach, Yellow, White, Green, Blue, Purple, Grey, Black). I had achieved underwear drawer NIRVANA...I hung my clothes in my closet the same way...still do

I became an Antiques Dealer by trade simply because I was so debilitated by my mental wackiness that I couldn't work for anyone else. Even though it was totally out of control and unplanned it worked out well and I ADORE old things. The more patina/flaws/dirt the better.....

https://youtu.be/LVB2mXCTbNs

thebigpeatowski said:

I was diagnosed with OCD at age 20. In college, my sorority sisters used to poke fun at me because ALL of my bras and panties were colored coordinated, flawlessly matched, folded to perfection and arranged by color according to the rainbow (Red, Peach, Yellow, White, Green, Blue, Purple, Grey, Black). I had achieved underwear drawer NIRVANA...I hung my clothes in my closet the same way...still do

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*This girl sheepishly raises her hand* I'm the same way. I just sent back an order of underwear and bras because they were a hair off in color. Both had the same color name in their description. Liars! And my closet is arranged by color too. Like I said, I'm a work in progress.

thebigpeatowski said:

I became an Antiques Dealer by trade simply because I was so debilitated by my mental wackiness that I couldn't work for anyone else. Even though it was totally out of control and unplanned it worked out well and I ADORE old things. The more patina/flaws/dirt the better.....

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Seriously!? You just get cooler and cooler to me, theBP! I LOVE getting old furniture and giving it new life. Don't hate me, but I love painting it with different techniques and finishes. I love white distressed finishes most. Shabby chic! My next venture is milk paint and wax glazes.

Jennifer said:

That you will always be your greatest ally and have your back even when you fail.

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That is my name, after all... ;D

Jennifer said:

Is this person still in your life?

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No, it was a brief meeting, but a traumatic one. I've never experienced such hate from someone who didn't know me, with whom I've never been anything but curteous. Not that I attribute blame to them for my skewed self-perception. That, I cultivated in myself since I was 12 and have gotten my first zit... Heh, sometimes I wonder if I just shrugged it off if I would have prevented it from developing into moderate acne later in life.
Or my obviously growing body and voluptuous thighs weren't misconstrued as fatness by my peers if it would have prevented obesity later in life. Self-hate must be a self-fulfilling prophecy, eh, Jen?

But yeah, that person just confirmed the ugliness I saw in myself... And no one ever did that before... My mind just went, "Aha! I told you all along you were fat and ugly!" Funny how one slight overrides a thousand compliments to a dysmorphic mind... No, I don't think dressing nice makes me feel confident... So Ill old off on that until I can either afford clothes or finally fit into the ones I have...

Jennifer said:

I started getting into vintage, antiques, primitive and salvaged things.

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GROSS! I would never...! We were so poor when we just moved to Canada (wow, not much has changed, eh?) that my entire wardrobe was from the salvation army... I would wash them obsessively and they still had this foreign smell to me... I vowed to ALWAYS have new things. I hate hate hate rich girls who go thrifting for the sake of novelty. It makes me angry. (Not directed at you and TBP of course). Every time I go shopping I sometimes smell the clothes ;D

I often thought of saving my MDA journal but I wouldn't know what to do with it. It's completely foreign to me... My perception seems so strange to me now that reading it feels like reading some one else's story. But still, it's a part of me.

Oh boy, oh boy.

The night before I slept for 16 hours straight.
Then another 14 more last night.
Maybe I needed it?

Like I've mentioned before, I've been experiencing bone/ muscle pains all over, especially in my joints.
The optimist in me (the size of a flea, she still presses on, until she's 'pressed on' to death by the boot of realism) wonders if it's the calcium, protein and vitamin D that are doing some latent repairs.

Of course it's much more likely that I'm falling apart ;D (that's what I get for boasting my 112lb lifting feats.)

I spent the whole day peeling carrots. There's bits of carrot all over the house, so any PEdestrian who steps through the door would feel right at home.

My clothes feel lose but I have this strange belly bulge... It's not indigestion though, because it doesn't hurt and I digest my food relatively well so far. It almost feels like an accumulation of fat...
In my primal days I never had a bulge, even if weight was slow to come off it remained flat.
Is it possible to have both... Or is it too much to ask?
I'd have to be off wheat completely to really be sure.

Seriously crushing on Ray Peat following a video ;D Dude was in his 70s in the video but I wouldn't give him more than 55! How does he do it...?! Not a wrinkle on that man, except when he smiles! By golly, sign me up!

I wanna take a break from CronoOCD. OCD is not good for me. I eat my daily carrot, I drink my OJ and milk. My dinner meal is always a generously buttered potato with a protein and I've recently made a nutritious, albeit bitter, kale soup. I'm awesome, okay? I need to focus on eating without seeing the numbers --it'll only bring on obsession.

I bought chocolate but it tastes funny to me. My taste buds are strange lately.

I seem to be losing a bit of weight except the belly area so maybe calorie counting can wait until I settle in my diet?

Bought Sumatra coffee at the Costco! Yum! And smoked oysters! Is there a tastier combination? I think not! They should can the tasty suckers in coffee instead of sunflower oil.

thebigpeatowski said:

ALL of my bras and panties were colored coordinated, flawlessly matched, folded to perfection and arranged by color according to the rainbow (Red, Peach, Yellow, White, Green, Blue, Purple, Grey, Black).

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NO NO NO NO! Colour coding is for your CLOSET WARDROBE ONLY!

For underwear and shelved things it has to go by TYPE.
As in bras, tank tops, belly button tops, blouses, sweaters, etc.
From shortest to longest, "coldest" to warmest!

Belts go in the accessories, socks go in between underwear AND belts because they're both underwear and accessories. Pants are strictly restricted to same-material piles, as in jeans always with jeans and tights always with tights (with warm pantyhoes on their side; and clear pantyhoes, OBVIOUSLY, with the underware because they cannot be likened to pants the same way warm, cotton pantyhoes can).

Sweaters are weird because they're not tops, they're like over tops. And hoodies are their own thing so they belong on a hanger. Technically dresses belong on hangers too, but that's where the colour coding comes into play, if they're all summer dresses that is, with matching shoes directly underneath!!!

...

I think we all need help.

Jennifer said:

*This girl sheepishly raises her hand* I'm the same way. I just sent back an order of underwear and bras because they were a hair off in color. Both had the same color name in their description. Liars! And my closet is arranged by color too. Like I said, I'm a work in progress.

Don't hate me, but I love painting it with different techniques and finishes. I love white distressed finishes most. Shabby chic! My next venture is milk paint and wax glazes.

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Oh no no no....I paint TONS of stuff, almost everything....I want it clean, spotless, scrubbed and freshly painted, but I simply must add patina back after painting otherwise it's just too damn fresh. I dirty stuff up with coffee, paint washes, wax, beat with a scraper/hammer etc. You get the picture

I love this quote from RP: "And mental activity that challenges obsession and rigidity might be the most important brain energizer. Pseudo-optimism, humor-as-therapy, has a certain value, but a deeper optimism involves a willingness to assimilate new information and to change plans accordingly."

HUGS to my fellow OCDers....

My sweaters are folded, color coded in those IKEA boxes with windows on the front, so I can see inside. Ikea is an OCD girl's best friend forever.

Peat's_Girl said:

That is my name, after all... ;D

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Your name is Ally, really? I love that!

Peat's_Girl said:

Self-hate must be a self-fulfilling prophecy, eh, Jen?

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Ain't that the truth! You and I are some powerful manifesters. We just need to learn how to use our powers for good and not evil.

By the way, you are most certainly a true blue Canadian, "eh?"

Peat's_Girl said:

But yeah, that person just confirmed the ugliness I saw in myself... And no one ever did that before... My mind just went, "Aha! I told you all along you were fat and ugly!" Funny how one slight overrides a thousand compliments to a dysmorphic mind...

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Oh, I know! I've had some of the most hateful things said to me by someone I really cared about, who cared about me (yeah, messed up) because I never fought back. I let them let me have it and kept quiet and this only angers people more it seems. It's like they want you to retaliate. Maybe it makes them feel less crappy about their cruelty towards us when we give cruelty back. I don't know. I at least got an apology years later.

Peat's_Girl said:

Jennifer said:

I started getting into vintage, antiques, primitive and salvaged things.

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GROSS! I would never...! We were so poor when we just moved to Canada (wow, not much has changed, eh?) that my entire wardrobe was from the salvation army... I would wash them obsessively and they still had this foreign smell to me... I vowed to ALWAYS have new things. I hate hate hate rich girls who go thrifting for the sake of novelty. It makes me angry. (Not directed at you and TBP of course). Every time I go shopping I sometimes smell the clothes ;D

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Oh my gosh! I'm icky!

But really, I've never bought used clothes. I'm too OCD for that. I also can't buy used dishes, glasses or utensils. I meant things like used furniture (wood no fabric) or home decoration type stuff. Or antique things I can make into something else, like glass knobs, corbels, doors ect. I love wooden things, particularly carved.

Peat's_Girl said:

I often thought of saving my MDA journal but I wouldn't know what to do with it. It's completely foreign to me... My perception seems so strange to me now that reading it feels like reading some one else's story. But still, it's a part of me.

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Well, lucky for us, you've started a new one here. :)

thebigpeatowski said:

Oh no no no....I paint TONS of stuff, almost everything....I want it clean, spotless, scrubbed and freshly painted, but I simply must add patina back after painting otherwise it's just too damn fresh. I dirty stuff up with coffee, paint washes, wax, beat with a scraper/hammer etc. You get the picture

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Haha! True to ODC form. You buy old stuff, clean it till it's spotless and paint it to look like it's not new, but know deep down that underneath all that "distressing" is a clean and germless item.

thebigpeatowski said:

My sweaters are folded, color coded in those IKEA boxes with windows on the front, so I can see inside. Ikea is an OCD girl's best friend forever.

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Ooh...I need some of those! Umm...err...I mean I don't need those. I just throw my crap on the floor!

How about you three come and visit me as a team for a week. I have the opposite problem. You'd probably have my house ship-shape in no time. On the other hand, whether it would be helpful to you by putting things in perspective, or just a serious stress overload, I couldn't promise.
I'll throw in as much grass fed milk and butter as you can drink/eat, the last of the remaining pears, and a tour to either mountains or beach (though you're all getting longer days than me now anyway).

Jennifer said:

Your name is Ally, really? I love that!

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Yep ;D

Jennifer said:

By the way, you are most certainly a true blue Canadian, "eh?"

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I actually thought of editing that out, but then thought no one would notice except for me ;D
I'm sort of Canadian. Not born and bred.
(Hmm... bread...!)

Jennifer said:

I let them let me have it and kept quiet and this only angers people more it seems. It's like they want you to retaliate. Maybe it makes them feel less crappy about their cruelty towards us when we give cruelty back. I don't know. I at least got an apology years later.

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Yeah, maybe that's why you get that bone-headed, half-assed advice on how to deal with bullies. "Just ignore them". It just seems to make them angrier, but they never actually leave you alone, they just find new and creative ways to get a reaction out of you. I wish I was a badass like my bf and at least kicked their asses, but I guess girls don't get encouraged to fight. I think they should. Maybe if we weren't socialised to be so passive and delicate people would think twice about victimising us.

I'm not sure how they would ever apologise... If they ever did I would know they're trying to manipulate me in order to hurt me worse in the future.

Jennifer said:

But really, I've never bought used clothes. I'm too OCD for that. I also can't buy used dishes, glasses or utensils. I meant things like used furniture (wood no fabric) or home decoration type stuff. Or antique things I can make into something else, like glass knobs, corbels, doors etc. I love wooden things, particularly carved.

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Yeah, bad idea here in Montreal. We had bed-bugs like 3 times... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy...
Those things are psychological warfare! Imagine when you're terrified to sleep, waking up every few hours... They should use these as an interrogation device ;D

Peat's_Girl said:

Well, lucky for us, you've started a new one here. :)

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It's always gonna be there floating in cyber space...
And yeah! Gotta i give the readers what they want. All 1 of them...

tara said:

How about you three come and visit me as a team for a week. I have the opposite problem. You'd probably have my house ship-shape in no time. On the other hand, whether it would be helpful to you by putting things in perspective, or just a serious stress overload, I couldn't promise.
I'll throw in as much grass fed milk and butter as you can drink/eat, the last of the remaining pears, and a tour to either mountains or beach (though you're all getting longer days than me now anyway).

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You had me at 'butter'.