Jennifer's Recovery Log

Cool Jennifer, I'm glad goat milk is working for you. It works for me too up to a cup a day so far and with coffee though I was drinking much more before Mexico.

sunmountain said:

Cool Jennifer, I'm glad goat milk is working for you. It works for me too up to a cup a day so far and with coffee though I was drinking much more before Mexico.

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Thanks, sunmountain! My only issue is I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. I'm paying $18 a gallon and because it's one of the few foods I'm tolerating now, I'm going through quite a bit of it. I notice I've slacked on my calories because of this and I've been waking between 3:00 and 4:00 every morning with major hunger pangs. I'm sure this is part of the reason for my depression. I'd invest in a goat, but I know I'd get emotionally attached to him/her and after losing my dog last July, I'm still nursing that wound and just don't have the heart right now to become attached to another animal.

Aww Jennifer I can totally relate. I still get a little teary eyed when I think of the pets I've lost over the years. My idea of heaven would be to be surrounded by all of them again.
They have cow shares where I live and you just pay a fee to the farmer and they raise the cow and you just pick up the milk. I wonder if they have goat shares? You could have your milk that way without getting attached.

Yeah, the other day I was standing next to a goat farmer at checkout, and he was looking at my goat milk prices unbelievingly. I should have asked him about goat milk, but was slow with my wits.

I find I can tolerate goat milk better with cafe con leche. I really love it that way.

The cost is tough, though.

Your lowering of calories is interesting; I just crono'd and posted my interpreted results in my log. I'm kind of in a similar boat regarding calories; barely at 2000 and needing to increase.

sunmountain said:

Yeah, the other day I was standing next to a goat farmer at checkout, and he was looking at my goat milk prices unbelievingly.

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Haha, that's awesome...

Jen, I haven't found non-funky goat's milk... But I feel your dairy related concerns...
Maybe I'm still brainwashed on Paleo that at every oddity my usual suspect is dairy... (But it's probably wheat.)
I used to think dairy gave me acne... But now my skin is better than ever...! And to think all this time I was craving what I needed most, like you, and then thinking, "No, shut up brain, you don't know ***t". ;D

Oh and also I almost committed myself to a fruit diet too. I did it for two weeks because it promised no cellulite and perfect skin (uh, what cellulite I was 18!). So the skin definitely improved (2lbs of fruit will do that to you) but I just couldn't go more than two weeks without meat.
I ended up googling "meat good for you" (wishful thinking) in the hopes of finding some shred of evidence I could eat it...
I landed on Mark's Daily Apple (before the big Paleo craze) ;D

Maybe if we all just googled our favourite things to eat we'd find the perfect diet?
You think there's an icecream diet out there?

Oh, wait.
We're already on it...

Blossom said:

Aww Jennifer I can totally relate. I still get a little teary eyed when I think of the pets I've lost over the years. My idea of heaven would be to be surrounded by all of them again.
They have cow shares where I live and you just pay a fee to the farmer and they raise the cow and you just pick up the milk. I wonder if they have goat shares? You could have your milk that way without getting attached.

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Haha! Me too! I've had so many animals in my life, I joke with my mom that I imagine our heaven will look like a scene from Sleeping Beauty or Snow White where they're sitting in the forest surrounded by animals.

I just have this deep and profound respect for them just as I do humans. This will tell you how weird I am. When I was a little girl, if I found a dead animal on the side of the road while I was out playing, I'd gather it up and go burry it in my back yard. It seems very creepy Pet Cemetery now that I think about, but I just didn't like that they were tossed aside as if their life had no value. This is why it's been so hard and very humbling to eat meat again. This has been my biggest dietary struggle.

And That's a great idea about finding a goat share, Blossom. Thank you for the suggestion. I'd love it if the farm I was getting my raw milk from had goat shares. They only do one milking a day for customers and save the first milking for the calves, this way they can be with their mothers longer. The farm manager, Dan has always been so kind to me. It's a 100% biodynamic farm so their milk and meat are already high in nutrients, but after meeting me and being concerned that I developed osteoporosis and at such a young age, he started adding sea minerals to the animal's diet to make their milk and meat even more nutritious. They really are amazing at Sunnyfield. The farm is part of a school for those with special needs and they have a program that provides them learning opportunities at the farm.

sunmountain said:

Yeah, the other day I was standing next to a goat farmer at checkout, and he was looking at my goat milk prices unbelievingly. I should have asked him about goat milk, but was slow with my wits.

I find I can tolerate goat milk better with cafe con leche. I really love it that way.

The cost is tough, though.

Your lowering of calories is interesting; I just crono'd and posted my interpreted results in my log. I'm kind of in a similar boat regarding calories; barely at 2000 and needing to increase.

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Oh no! That bad, huh? I figured goat's milk would be more expensive, but by the reaction you got from the goat farmer, I'm thinking we could of bought a small goat farm by now. There's always farmer's markets, but because of our weather, they tend to be more of a seasonal thing. I've only come across one or two that have indoor winter farmer's markets.

Yeah, it's hard getting the calories in with compromised digestions and not being rich. LOL I responded to you in your log, but I'll mention it here again. Since you're consuming fat-free dairy, have you tried filling in that calorie gap with more sugary dense foods like white sugar, honey or maybe even dates or you could up your fat intake a little? This way you're not adding a lot of bulk to your diet and can get more calories in without struggling.

Peat's_Girl said:

Jen, I haven't found non-funky goat's milk... But I feel your dairy related concerns...
Maybe I'm still brainwashed on Paleo that at every oddity my usual suspect is dairy... (But it's probably wheat.)
I used to think dairy gave me acne... But now my skin is better than ever...! And to think all this time I was craving what I needed most, like you, and then thinking, "No, shut up brain, you don't know s***". ;D

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Oh gosh, I know! It's so hard to trust in our cravings when we think they've failed us in the past. Add to that all the conflicting health info and false promises out there by all these perfectly chiseled and beautiful people and you think they must have the answers to health. Get me in the studio and hit me with the pretty stick a.k.a airbrush and Photoshop and I'll sell my secrets too.

Peat's_Girl said:

Oh and also I almost committed myself to a fruit diet too. I did it for two weeks because it promised no cellulite and perfect skin (uh, what cellulite I was 18!). So the skin definitely improved (2lbs of fruit will do that to you) but I just couldn't go more than two weeks without meat.
I ended up googling "meat good for you" (wishful thinking) in the hopes of finding some shred of evidence I could eat it...
I landed on Mark's Daily Apple (before the big Paleo craze) ;D

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Thank God your body won out and you dodged that bullet. Those promises are what get everyone hooked on these diets, especially the short of miraculous ones coming from the high fruit raw vegan camp. There's a trend with that diet, particularly the 30 bananas a day or what they're now calling the "raw till 4" diet that Harley (DurianRider) and Leanne (Freelee) promote. Spending enough time on that forum and reading people's stories you'll notice that diet attracts those with a history of restrictive eating like no other diet I've ever seen. You know why? You're promised no more food cravings and your ideal weight, all while pounding in as much fruit calories as you like. It's like promising the Garden of Eden to a starving child in Africa. Yep! You'll get more than your fair share of takers.

What they don't tell you is that not everyone gets thin on that diet. Sure, I did that diet to gain weight and wasted away, but a good majority of people who attempt it gain like they would any diet where their eating the amount of calories the 30bad crew promote. Even Freelee gained weight initially on that diet. It took her a good five years for her weight to come down to where it is now. Add to that, she's an athlete. To me, her experience is that of anyone who refeeds so there isn't anything miraculous with that diet. So why subject ourselves to a diet of nothing but fruit when it hasn't been shown to have advantages over an omnivorous one, you know?

So I'm currently dealing with gallbladder pains. They're not the stabbing kind like many report. It's more like a mild zapping throughout the day. Last week, I started feeling heaviness in my upper chest after eating denser proteins like meat and eggs. They seemed to sit there like a brick. This was at its worst a few years back when I began refeeding and instead of slowly upping my calories to meet my extreme hunger at the time, I was in it to win it like a starving orphan in an eating contest. I lost count after the 6,000 calorie mark.

It was Thanksgiving Day and I was showing solidarity with the turkey. We were busting with stuffing! This led to an ER visit with pain in my gallbladder area and the most severe burning in my gut and subsequent vomiting. An ultrasound was done and gallstones found, but there were none in the duct, the gallbladder itself wasn't inflamed and the rest of the organs around it were perfectly healthy. The doctor came in ready to schedule me a consult with a surgeon to have it removed. Knowing that they only wanted it for resale on the black market, I kindly declined. Hey, I've seen those Date Line specials. If anyone's going to make money off my slightly used, but well loved gallbladder, it's me! I've got a milk and honey habit to feed. :P

So now, I have to figure out how to proceed with my diet. As of late it's consisted of the full-fat goat's milk, one honey I tolerate, an expensive German one at $12 a jar, sea scallops, eggs and small amounts of fresh strained orange juice. Very restrictive, very expensive and part of the reason I'm most likely depressed. All I really want is the honey and I've been going through a jar of it every two days. At this rate, I'll have to sell a kidney too. Hmm...do they have a section for items like this on Craig's List?

If I have to go very low-fat because of my gallbladder, I'm not sure I can stick to fiberless. Without some fat or fiber in my diet, I just don't feel satiated. I'm not thrilled at the thought of the bloat coming back, but when summer rolls around and brings with it sweet strawberries the size of my fist, kiwis so ripe they taste like bubble gum or those specially bred cotton candy grapes (genius!), holding a glass of their juice just doesn't have the same appeal as sinking my teeth into their succulent flesh. Perhaps I'm just missing actually chewing my food. I never thought I'd be consuming my diet through a straw unless my mouth was wired shut. It'd be so much easier if I could make goat's milk ricotta without having to take out a loan.

Tonight's song...I'm not sure if you'll get the movie reference, but this boombox moment is for you, my bestie Phillip...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T3E9Wjbq44E

Well done for hanging onto your gall bladder Jennifer! My husband nearly lost his - ended up in hospital with what I now think was damage from overly fast weight loss and pufa release. Gall bladder was fine but they wanted to take it out anyway. Because that's what they do. And they didnt have a better plan. I simply asked why? And they said "okay then we won't take it out". Amazing but true.
A thought- did I read that coconut oil doesn't affect gall bladder?? Is digested without involving it? Something like that?

Oh, I know! It's crazy! It seems their answer to everything is to rip it out. The doctor just looked at me perplexed when I told her that I wanted to keep it. I'm thinking not too many people put up a fight to hold onto an organ they're told is damaged and not essential. I have a feeling me quickly wasting away was the reason why it started acting up too.

And thank you for reminding me about coconut oil, sueq. I completely forgot about it! That will help keep away the hunger without needing the fiber. Though, I might still succumb to that summer fruit. LOL

Hey Jen,
Is it possible we're living the same life?...

I went to the ER a year or so ago for the worst pain I've ever experienced. Of course, unlike you I didn't get the option of an actual treatment. I just waited on the ER floor for 6 hours all through the night, curled into a ball by the public washroom, puking (no hyperbole) every 12 minutes after which I was sent home because by the time I was done waiting all the people who were doing X-Rays and catscans finished their shift and went home... (Gee, what a convenient schedule they have, someone should have told my body to try to kill itself between 8am-8pm).

I was sent with a lame prescription painkiller that didn't work, and (stupidly) came back the next day to wait for 8 more hours... Again, curled up in a ball and puking. But at the end they just gave me a 4x stronger painkiller (by give I mean I stormed through their magnetically locked doors and said I won't leave until they inject me with something) and sent me home after doing some x-rays and catscans and ultrasounds... and to this day no one knows what was wrong with me (go Canadian health care!).
But I found a newfound appreciation to the real saviours of healthcare-- PHARMACISTS!
OH I CAN KISS THEM ALL! The drugs made my life bearable for a week until the pain went away completely.

I think it could have been kidney stones but no one knows...
It was between the time I would do 24 IFs and then go out drinking and eating ridiculously large meals with my "friends" (I would bold the quote marks if I could). So now that I know there's actually repercussions to starving and then eating huge plates of steak and mashed potatoes, I'm getting an inkling as to why that happened but I guess I'll never fully know. I'm still terrified of sauerkraut because that's all I'd in the toilet bowl when I vomited... Undigested sauerkraut... But I never heard of sauerkraut poisoning, have you?

12$ for honey?... That's like cheap comparing to the prices here... They're selling 10oz steaks for 16+$...
Why would anyone wanna live in this backwards country I don't know...
Jen you wanna sponsor me? ;D

I have a tendency to answer your posts with nothing but info about myself. Then I realise it and it's too late ;D

I say if you wanna eat strawberries the size of your hand then no one should stand in the way.
(Of course I'd be alarmed by your freakishly small hands if you're still living in QC.)

I'm not sure how to circumvent your gut issues though...
Maybe you can try to eat one strawberry every 30 minutes? Instead of a lot at once?
I find it better to digest if you slowly introduce something. But I've never and problems with eating fruit.
I actually prefer juicing...
Man, my advice sucks cause I don't know anything about Peating... ;c
I've never heard of such enchanting sounding fruits! I don't even like fruits except star fruits, passion fruits and berries (and I can't afford these ;D).

Peat's_Girl said:

Hey Jen,
Is it possible we're living the same life?...

I went to the ER a year or so ago for the worst pain I've ever experienced. Of course, unlike you I didn't get the option of an actual treatment. I just waited on the ER floor for 6 hours all through the night, curled into a ball by the public washroom, puking (no hyperbole) every 12 minutes after which I was sent home because by the time I was done waiting all the people who were doing X-Rays and catscans finished their shift and went home... (Gee, what a convenient schedule they have, someone should have told my body to try to kill itself between 8am-8pm).

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Oh, gosh! I assumed the fetal position too! I spent the whole night in that position on the corner of the hospital bed, which might as well of been the floor, they're so hard. I remember refusing to take the pain reliever and anti-nausea drugs they kept offering me. I just wanted to get the ultrasound and get out of there. I must of looked like I was dying because at one point, some random nurse walking by saw me just huddled in my tiny ball on the bed and he had a look of concern and came back with a blanket and covered me up.

The best part was when the nurse first put the needle in my arm to take my blood, she had forgotten a vile and ran out of the room leaving the needle in my arm dripping blood. Ahh....we have the best hospital nightmare stories to tell. Forget the Peatarian cookbook, we should compile our war stories. LOL

Peat's_Girl said:

I'm still terrified of sauerkraut because that's all I'd in the toilet bowl when I vomited... Undigested sauerkraut... But I never heard of sauerkraut poisoning, have you?

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Yeah, I'm not the girl to ask on that one. I was going through at least 5 (16oz) jars of sauerkraut a week about a year prior to this gut incident. I remember being sick that year and I can attest to it being just as pleasant coming out as it is going in. My sympathies to you!

Peat's_Girl said:

12$ for honey?... That's like cheap comparing to the prices here... They're selling 10oz steaks for 16+$...
Why would anyone wanna live in this backwards country I don't know...
Jen you wanna sponsor me? ;D

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Okay, I'll take you in as my foreign exchange student. I can feed you $12 honey, $18 goat's milk (non-goaty), ice cream and salt water taffy. Do you wear dentures? If not, you may want to invest in a pair. If you're on a tight budget, you could just pick up one of those plastic chattering teeth toys.

Peat's_Girl said:

I have a tendency to answer your posts with nothing but info about myself. Then I realise it and it's too late ;D

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Oh, that's okay! I'd rather hear about you. All I ever hear is Jennifer in my head. I swear the girl never shuts up.

Peat's_Girl said:

I say if you wanna eat strawberries the size of your hand then no one should stand in the way.
(Of course I'd be alarmed by your freakishly small hands if you're still living in QC.)

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Oh, no! My hands are like a man's hands...freakishly big! The strawberries are humongous! Thank you GMOs! :P

Peat's_Girl said:

I'm not sure how to circumvent your gut issues though...
Maybe you can try to eat one strawberry every 30 minutes? Instead of a lot at once?
I find it better to digest if you slowly introduce something. But I've never and problems with eating fruit.
I actually prefer juicing...
Man, my advice sucks cause I don't know anything about Peating... ;c
I've never heard of such enchanting sounding fruits! I don't even like fruits except star fruits, passion fruits and berries (and I can't afford these ;D).

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That's because they don't exist. I lie a lot! Just kidding! I learned how to pick really ripe fruit during my 80/10/10 days so what I described is how they taste to me when perfectly ripe. Oh and the cotton candy grapes, there's a chance you might come across them in Montreal during the season. They're available around August here. The link below has a description of them, as well as other really cool looking grapes. Check out the witch fingers and moon drops. Err...I just sounded like I fell off my unicorn, didn't I? Ha!

http://www.grapery.biz/index.php/grapes/cotton-candy

But your advice doesn't suck. Taking it slow when reintroducing foods into our diet is very sound advice. :) I actually never had a problem with fruit until I made my 3000 calorie diet nothing but them. 200 grams of fiber a day and my gut was calling uncle!

I don't know if this will help you, but lately I've been taking one or two apple cider vinegar tablets before a "heavy" meal - fatty, meaty, etc. I was having gb issues last Friday that continued on even when I went back to my regular food instead of eating fatty junk food snacks, and by Tuesday I started using the tablets. Maybe it's coincidence, but it seemed to help noticeably.

Thanks for the suggestion, Peata! :)

I think you're right with your hunch. Apple cider vinegar is amazing for the gallbladder. I swear by it! My cousin was in such pain from gallbladder attacks that she was scheduled to have hers removed. I told her about ACV and she ended up not needing surgery. It worked like a charm! SaltGirl has also mentioned using ACV for her gallbladder. It clears up my pains right away, but because my gut has become so sensetive, the ACV burns it and causes the rash to appear so I tried holding off using it till Friday night. The rash appeared yesterday, but I haven't had any gallbladder attacks since.

I think I'll gets some of those ACV tablets you recommended this way I can have them with meals when I'm away from home. I've never heard of them before. What a great idea!

NP, the brand I use is Nature's Life. There are probably other brands that use different fillers, but I haven't had any problem with these, and I picked those up at a hfs pretty cheap. I also use Nature's Life vitamin K2, btw.

Vinegar, at least in small amounts, could be part of a Peaty diet since it's acetic acid which is a part of aspirin. Maybe that's too much of a stretch, but oh well.

Perfect! Thanks so much, Peata! :)

You crack me up Jen ;D

Wow, a nurse actually showed empathy! I'm telling you, American hospitals have Canadian ones beat hands down even if just due to this little anecdote ;D

Ewww, are those like grapples? Fruits of the devil, they are!
I have no idea why you have an affinity for GMOs; I can barely stand the fruit here.
Growing up in Ukraine where you can't find anything that was NOT grown in someone's backyard
all North American fruits taste utterly disgusting to me. That's why I can't realistically become a fruitarian.
(Speaking of, the only time my skin was ever Neutrogena commercial ready was when I was briefly visiting my gramma... Yeah, I gained like 10lbs each time but my skin would clear up despite the icecream, bread, pork lard and apples pies I consumed... Go figure.)

I used to love apples because we grew our own... But here, regardless of the ridiculously large array of them I haven't found one sort that would come close ;( Red delicious, honey apples-- these all sound like elaborate lies to get me to buy them, but I know better ;p)
That's why a juicer would probably save my life...!