Debilitating Grief

Blinkyrocket · Feb 22, 2015

Hi, idk if this falls into dietary guidelines or even for the Ray Peat forum at all (probably should go to some sort of support group or something). I'm not necessarily looking for advice as much as wanting to understand what exactly is happening after an extremely emotional thing has happened, and I have wept and screamed uncontrollably. It seems my grief is inescapable and I am filled with regret over almost every decision I've ever made in my life and feel that it's just not worth it to keep going. I have dealt with anxiety since I was very young, and my house burnt down awhile ago, along with my pets. Ever since then my anxiety problems have been suffocating, I've had agoraphobia and hypochondria (which led me to Ray Peat). So, I'm wondering if besides dietary stuff, is there any psychological way to get past this? Is it best to just keep grieving? Cuz it's been about half a year I think and I'm still in the "denial" stage.

andvanwyk · Feb 22, 2015

Emotional freedom technique and trauma releasing exercises with a skilled practitioner have both been very helpful for me in such situations.

The skilled practitioner part is key though as there are some bad ones out there.

You can pubmed emotional freedom technique to find some studies that have been done on it.

tara · Feb 22, 2015

Sorry you lost your house and pets.

I think of crying as the natural way to relieve grief, and shaking, sweating and laughing as natural ways to relieve fear and anxiety. Works better with a caring person listening, not necesarily a professional. Big grief and big trauma can take a lot of crying and shaking and laughing - sounds like you've had some big ones and body knows what it needs to do. People often think there is something wrong with this (esp. for men), and think they are doing a favour by stopping someone crying and shaking.

Taking care of yourself physically, including eating enough, may help. I suspect that undereating has been an intermittent contributor to my feeling anxious at times. For me I would guess low blood sugar -> high adrenaline -> anxiety. Eating enough may be an important part for you too.

Take care

Blinkyrocket · Feb 22, 2015

I will try that, when I read Ray Peats thoughts on culture and stress at an early age I immediately knew that was exactly the problem. I don't trust anyone though, it feels like they would just say nice things for the sake of saying something nice. Another thing, I ran out of gelatin a few days ago and that's when I started actually releasing all this stuff but I know for a fact that it's been inside for almost all my life, but, running out of gelatin might be a factor cuz last time I ran out of gelatin I couldn't sleep.

Blinkyrocket · Feb 22, 2015

I'm also afraid that if I try to talk about it with someone I'll start crying right then and there, but, it's getting close to where I don't really care anymore and someone needs to know how I feel lol

Blinkyrocket · Feb 22, 2015

To make things even better this all happened after I read about how holding emotions in (like u said, about how culture says men shouldn't cry) wasn't good for you, I decided to "search" myself and let out anything I found. I guess what I found wasn't very pretty

narouz · Feb 22, 2015

That's a terrible thing to happen to you, Blinky.
Hang in there.
Things will get better.
Try to eat fruit and cheese in small snacks throughout the day.
Well-cooked potato with butter is good too.

Blinkyrocket · Feb 22, 2015

I sure hope so, my heart is pounding and I have no appetite because of this.

narouz · Feb 22, 2015

Blinkyrocket said:
I sure hope so, my heart is pounding and I have no appetite because of this.

Yeah, I understand.
Can you get some taurine and/or magnesium?
That would be good.
Can you see a doctor?
Seems to me you could benefit from some short-term pharma interventions.

Blinkyrocket · Feb 22, 2015

I'm taking a magnesium carbonate supplement but I actually seem to be having stomach twitching. How good is magnesium carbonates absorption?

Sea · Feb 23, 2015

I think you should make sure you are eating enough sugar and enough salt.

Do you have any problems with digestion? How many calories do you eat a day?

I think that aside from eating enough, and taking care of any problems with digestion, aspirin may help you.

Aspirin improved my mood a lot when I was still drinking too many fluids, and as a result was not getting enough sugar and salt in my diet. I think taking care of digestive problems can also help because bacteria overgrowths interfering with digestion can be a big source of stress which can make it difficult to cope with real life stress at the same time.

I have found that when I am well fed and not having digestive problems, it is very easy to only think about the present and future and not dwell on the past.

sunmountain · Feb 23, 2015

Sorry to hear you're grieving, Blinky.

It took me a few months to begin grieving after my marriage broke up, but once started I couldn't stop for a long time.

I remember thinking this is ridiculous it's been a year and I am still crying...time for it to stop...but I might as well have barked at the moon.

Eventually I gave up resisting and just cried when I needed to and didn't worry about a timeline.

One day I noticed I had stopped. Now I know how necessary the grieving was.

I hope you stay with it...it might be necessary work.

Building your metabolism at the same time might shorten duration -- I had not known about Peat then.

All the best.

Blinkyrocket · Feb 25, 2015

Thanks for the support

I plan on letting all the tears out. I do take aspirin and whether from placebo or not it's definitely a life saver for the suffocating feeling. I've actually lowered added sugar to milk and stuff, but I still get lots of sugar from OJ. And, one interesting thing, I've developed a huge crush for a girl at my workplace and guess what one of the hormones to increase is? Adrenaline :? So, I'm sure that's exacerbating all this.

Blinkyrocket · Feb 25, 2015

Oh yeah, I've noticed I don't feel too good when I eat potatoes with the skin on so I'm gonna try to peel and mash them from now on and eat them with a lot of butter too. If that doesn't work I guess I'll just do the RPPPS.

narouz · Feb 25, 2015

Okay Blinky.
Keep up the good work!

gretchen · Feb 26, 2015

You might try homeopathy. Ignatia is for grief:
http://vitalitymagazine.com/article/hom ... medicine1/

Blinkyrocket · Feb 27, 2015

Hmmm interesting, my sister suggests essential oils a lot like peppermint and lavender I think. I probably should look into stuff like that, I'd really like to be able to go to my church again (it's an hour away) but I still get anxiety.

ilovethesea · Mar 4, 2015

Sorry that you are feeling so much pain. However, remember that pain is an indication of change in process or change needed.

The best way out of a negative feeling is a positive decision followed by action ASAP.

Have you heard the expression " the only way out is through" ?

I think that means if you keep heading in the right direction and taking positive action to free yourself from the past and move on, you'll get through it, and someday the memories won't seem so significant.

Have you also tried anti-serotonin meds yet? I found cyproheptadine very effective, also tianeptine. (PM me if you need the contact for the latter.)

Blinkyrocket · Mar 6, 2015

Thanks, ilovethesea, I agree wholeheartedly, in fact that's how this started is I started looking through the "junk in my closet". I'm actually interested in the fact that stress early in life seems to lead to degradation of DNA and neurons in the brain? And that the fear section actually grows while the hypothalamus (I think) shrinks. I'm wondering, how do u fix this?

Blinkyrocket · Mar 8, 2015

Scratch that, it's the hippocampus

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Debilitating Grief

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