Everyone hates me for no reason! Why!

Ben

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Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
497
I'm appalled. Almost everywhere I look in Denver, there is rude, dishonest, or coldhearted people. And nobody cares if I'm a good person, selfless, or want to improve the world.

I admit, I don't even have any FRIENDS. Why did none of the people I knew ever contact or start a conversation with me?

So I'm surrounded by bad strangers, and generally have nobody good to interact with. Except my mother. Kind of. She doesn't care about improving the world and she's close-minded, and therefore unfit for stimulating conversation.

I feel like crying everyday. I came to Denver to meet people, and this is what I get. I'm a very fun person to talk to, but yet sometimes people go to the extent to say "their minutes ran out", "they don't have time", give fake numbers, say they have no number, etc. NOBODY ******* WANTS ME ON THIS PLANET AND I DON'T WANT THEM.

I just don't get it. I am a better person than others are. Nobody else cares about the future of the planet. Yet, nobody shows me any RECOGNITION. "Oh, you're arrogant". bull****. People know I'm better, that's why in the shithole hostel I stay at, they fly into rages, gang up on me, try to find something inferior about me ("he's a b****, he doesn't want to fight me").

But it's everywhere. No girl chased me last year. Not a single girl. An interesting fairly good-looking guy who everyone talks about, no girl chased him. And nobody chased him as a friend either. An intelligent, optimistic person, maybe because he's "weird". But not autistic, like I said, I am above people in maturity. Their silly long-term goals seem autistic and lack depth and meaning to me.

And I don't act arrogant, nor do I care if I'm better or worse. I act very friendly and people start crap with me in their heads. For example, a guy is blocking the way to the other room in a chair, ridiculous place to sit. I stand there in front of him and he asks if I'll say excuse me. I said no, move. You're in the way. This BS goes on, then he asks me will you say excuse me? I said no, I'm going to tell you to get the **** out of the way. Then he flies in a rage, gets up, gets in my face and starts threatening me. This was a guy who I thought I was friends with, and it turns out he's some sociopathic conner.

The first "friend" I ever made, in Kindergarten, was a boy who stopped being friends with me for no reason. My brother treated me with lots of "love" when I was very young, then when I went to school, he bullied me for being different and my parents never gave him the slightest scolding. I was also blamed, like we were having friendly sibling fun.

The school often blamed me for stuff I didn't do. Then my brother got more aggressive. My parents never did the slightest thing so I called the police on him when he crossed the line. The police officer didn't do anything, and my parents showed so much anger to me for this.

Everyone in my school knew what happened, and knew it was true. Nobody offered me a place to stay. I planned to move somewhere, at first to LA but then I was told it wasn't a good choice. It took me a while to figure out how to buy a plane ticket. Over the summer, brother was still aggressive, physically and especially verbally.

In August I moved to Denver. My very first experiences were all bad, it's almost comical! Before I realized how people are in Denver, it was too late to go home. But I just forgot how bad things were there. The constant bullying, yelling, complaining, being stuck in a house in the woods because I can't drive, having no dating opportunities whatsoever.

I don't know where to go. I had a Kundalini Awakening this summer and I'm apparently still in the purgatory stage which happens after Awakening. You know what is recommended during this time? Having a few good friends to get along with and live a quiet life for a while. Because in this stage, the brain is already overwhelmed by negative emotion, and it needs peace. Yet, the first thing I craved was close friends and I couldn't find friends even over Craigslist no matter how hard I looked. Not a single woman responded to my Denver ad either. Women didn't like me on Tinder, either.

http://imgur.com/3VP6QiB

Would you expect my looks to evoke feelings of hatred in people? Is it my thick eyebrows? Does it make me seem like an arrogant animal? Do I lack masculinity and people feel like they can get away with disrespecting me? Am I ugly? Why do people say I look European? Is that why? Does my forehead look slanted and make people doubt my maturity?

http://imgur.com/WoFGm0N

Is it my big nose? My protruding mouth? Do those features make me look primitive and make people hate me? Are people likely to think I'm a Jew because of the thick eyebrows, my Polish accent, and my big nose? Why was I always the least trusted person out of my group of friends if I would in fact be the most trustworthy in terms of secrets? Why do people make me a "bad guy"?

Guys have called me good-looking in the past just to create a compliment, and a straight guy said he would **** me if I was a girl! I post ads on Craigslist for women and get 0 women, only gay men. Why do only gay men like me? Is it God's cruel joke? I don't want gay men! I want women! I don't think I have EVER been flirted with by women!

My life just seems like one big joke. Help the world? Haha, the guy who nobody likes and a lot of people hate? Not gonna happen.

Please help me. I have no clue why nobody likes me and why so many hate me for no reason. My life is NOT worth living if I can't improve humanity and this world. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, there is half-assed work done everywhere. Monopoly everywhere. Broken stuff. Sloppy, coldhearted, deceptive, or rude management, bankers, secretaries, clerks, governments, police, doctors, lawyers, etc.

If you give me a place to stay, then I'll appreciate it. This place I'm in, there is no cold water in the restroom and water leaking from a hole in the ceiling. Bunkbeds. Onky shower is in the basement and it's filthy. Tons of felons too. Where my parents live is nicer looking, but I'm afraid of the great deprivation and bad emotional influence, bullying, etc.

To live with this AND not be able to improve conditions, what do I have to live for? I might as well put a bullet in my head. And I didn't even mention, I don't work and I will avoid spending and working for as long as possible. I would rather starve than work, I can feel the stress from work and it is unbearable. And PLUS it's good for bringing down the economy.

In fact, I planned to rent a place to live for people who work towards spreading knowledge with me to improve the world that has bunk beds and shared cooking, etc. So they don't have to contribute to greedy landlords and employers. I still hope I will accomplish getting so many dedicated followers, but that will be only if I find out why everyone hates me and if I fixed that. I've never felt so horrible in my life so maybe I'll just end it. But I don't want to do it while my mom is still alive. By then though, it'll be clear whether I helped the world or not, and whether I should end it all or continue. Right now, everyday is comically bad for me. I have nothing to live for right now. Nobody likes me. Nobody cares about me. Yet I'm better, and these reulsively pathetic people are why today's world is such garbage. And I receive no respect or recognition for being a strong person. I have no reason to live right now. Life is one big joke right now for me. Mommy is the only person who I live for right now.

And it is supposed to change? I've been disliked, untrusted, blamed since I was a kid. As many things as have changed, still my life is a complete joke. Why do people treat me this way? Why? I sound like a self-pitying baby crying here but I NEVER pitied myself until now. The biggest losers I knew have better lives than I have. I hate my life.
 

nikotrope

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Joined
Apr 21, 2014
Messages
318
Location
France
I am a bit like you in finding most people hateful and not stimulating. I almost never meet someone that I can have good conversations with, only in events related to my work. And I am self-employed because I hate having a boss (but it comes with lots of problems with public services).

For instance, I rented my apartment for one month to one of my best friends I've known for a long time and after leaving the apartment he never paid me, block me on Facebook and never answered my texts again. I've known him for 10 years and we've seen each other everyday at school for like 5 years. How twisted is that?!

Anyway, I would not kill myself because others are morons, it would mean dumb people won and I don't want that. I dealt with this by finding events where people were open-minded and friendly. Did you try to find events on meetup.com related to subjects you like? It has been the best thing I did to find stimulating people.

I ignore bad people instead of confronting them because it never ends up well. I also don't talk about things that I know people will not care about. Like I am not going to talk about Ray Peat and stuff to my family because they trust mainstream medicine too much. And when I disagree with people, I speak to them without getting angry because they will stop listening as soon as you get even a little bit angry (peating made me less angry anyway). Sure I had to adapt to other people but it's either that or being depressed. My brother is like me but on the depression side of things and it's ugly.
 

mt_dreams

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Joined
Oct 27, 2013
Messages
620
Hey Ben, if you haven't already noticed when out and about, people who are not beautiful have friends, and for the most part, end up finding a mate, so I would not put any mental thought towards your looks, as obsessing over vanity issues is not conducive to good vibrations.

You are experiencing things many people have to go through at some point during their teens or their twenties, it's just something new that you have to experience. It's about finding yourself, not playing the victim. Many people in all wakes of life get the type of thoughts you are experiencing.

Meeting people (assuming that what you truly want) is all about two things, communication skills, and vibrations. You can learn about communication skills by either watching those who are good at it, or by reading/watching up on the skill, and then trying it out yourself. Your vibration is also important, and by the first impression of your post, I would imagine this needs some work ... especially if you have just had an 'awakening' in the recent past. Try not judging others when observing them, as most people are put off by this vibration. Thinking things like 'I am better than this person', or 'this person is stupid', 'this person should be praising me', etc, will not help.

If you are looking for connection, and you don't have friends, try things like volunteering, meeting up with like minded people via internet meet up methods, or worst case, your immediate family, as it should be easy to get some connection even if its just that of touch via a hug.

So you don't have cold water, that's a bummer. Now think to all the people around the world who don't have hot water, or worse yet, no water. I've got friends in Brazil who only get water 6 days a month. No matter how bad you have it, know there are millions of people all over the world that have it way worse, and are not free enough, young enough, etc, to believe that things can change.

I know people who would say that your current situation has happened for a reason, and its something your body needs at this moment to try and deal with all the new vibrations u have just unlocked with your recent experience. Keep your mind & body sharp (by keeping to Peat's ideals of course), and soon your soul will find itself.
 

Vita3

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Joined
Aug 30, 2012
Messages
50
Unfortunately this world is strange, and it didn't happend only to you, there are good people around though ...
 
Joined
Nov 11, 2014
Messages
237
I don't even know why I'm replying to this pathetic thread, but I guess I respect various problem solving parts of this forum. You sort of seem genuinely curious, so here is some straight talk.

This is what is happening: (and I'm not even going to say "to you" - because if you believe you are in control, then you are causing it)

You are projecting your previously existing emotions into other people.

How do I know this? You don't act positive and you don't smile in your pictures. Act a certain way towards people and expect nothing in response. Then you might start "deserving" returns - but definitely not by default.

Force the positivity force social behavior for a few months, and then things will start to change.
 

jaa

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Joined
Dec 1, 2012
Messages
1,035
You may think you aren't acting arrogant, but if you're internalizing stuff like this:

"I just don't get it. I am a better person than others are."

you might be projecting an air of superiority that causes other to be turned off and openly hostile towards you. I guess you could be thankful you're getting this feedback because if you were 10-15 years older it would probably be polite hatred. I could be way off, and you would know better then me, but you could try working on yourself and see if that helps. Easier said than done I know. GL
 

gretchen

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Joined
Nov 30, 2012
Messages
816
I'm sorry you're suffering. I hate to see anyone have a hard time, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that you're young, and also the way the culture has changed since the crash. Some of it you will grow out of, and other things are related to the environment you're in and the social/economic stuff. I think you can manage it, and create a happier situation. I was very unhappy when I was your age, which was in the 90s, and moved around and tried a lot of different things. But things were more stable, or the chaos was contained, and people didn't care so much what you did or looked like. I also felt I didn't fit in, and worried about my look (or lack thereof), but in the end I found I had to take the necessary risks and do things for and by myself; and while it hasn't always been fun, I'm over 40 now and most of the problems are over.

There's do much emphasis nowadays on image. From what I see, you don't have many problems in that area. There's nothing wrong with you; you are a fine looking young man. Definitely don't do anything to your nose; do not even go near anyone who suggests anything about this. It fits your face perfectly. You look a little like Ezra Pound, actually. I think you have a very "current" look and don't need much help fashion-wise. Try to relax.

I've read a lot of people your age are "in" to themselves; I think this might have a lot to do with it. No offense to Millenials on the forum; people my age and the Boomers are to blame.
There's been so much emphasis on "self" in the last 50 years. The idea was or is that the more you improve yourself, the better the world will be. People have become overly self-involved and judgemental as a result. Many older people are in their own little worlds, and younger people are caught between what they've seen growing up their whole lives and what they feel is right (building a better world).

But the fact is, at the end of the day you have to live with yourself. While it's nice to have people who support and love us, you can't live your life for others. You've got to go within and find yourself first, and be true to yourself. You can't wait for others to show up and help. Yes, having followers and friends is very much a part of the new culture. But if you live your whole life for that, you won't be in sync with yourself and might not end up with the life you're really supposed to have. A change of environment might be something to consider. But only you can decide that, and there isn't always a perfect place to live. I lived in two of the hipster meccas back in the day, and found I was also fine in less cool places. At one point I even lived as a hermit in the country.

You say you want to change the world. The fact that you do means you will. You've already started doing that. It will work out. What other people say or think doesn't matter.

You might read a book called Choose Yourself by James Altucher. He went through a lot of difficult situations personally and professionally and says the thing that helped him was choosing himself (as opposed to letting other people, the world, corporations, etc. decide for him):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/149031337 ... e+yourself
 

Aspekt

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Joined
Feb 4, 2014
Messages
119
You admit that your life is not what you want, and yet you have a strong desire to make others change or to accept your views. If there's one thing that is universally a turn off in socializing it's when somebody who clearly doesn't have their ***t together (super judgmental, no job, superiority complex, etc) tries to change them, especially if you're not already their good friend, as this is generally the only time people will be receptive to you in that way.
People don't want to know what you think is wrong with the world. I'm guessing from your posts that your kind of ideal conversation is very intellectual and intense, perhaps mutual agreement over some issue or what have you. It's the easiest thing in the world to criticize and complain, it takes no effort at all. A lot of communication, body and speech, especially in encounters with new people, has no intellectual purpose, it's a mutual exchange of lighthearted, enjoyable sensation. If you jump right into heady concepts and opinions, that's a turn off.
The world has a lot of issues, sure, but people don't want to dampen their own mood. Be careful in thinking that because these issues are important, everyone should be thinking about them often, because that's a surefire recipe to depress yourself.

It's not so much what you're saying, it's much more about what kind of vibe you throw off, and your vibe seems to be a paradox of thinking you know better than others with nothing to show for it. Most people, especially people who are well connected socially and have high EQ are aware of the way you perceive them, even if your words are completely different.
In fact this ends up making them even more averse because they can see there's a clear dissonance between what your body is saying and what you're speaking, thus they feel like they're being manipulated. This kind of tension is only exacerbated when you don't have a clear sense of purpose in your actions. Do you really think you're going to be able to avoid working your entire life?

I don't know exactly what your awakening entailed, but it doesn't seem like you've been able to apply whatever it was, in fact it's just reinforced your sense of your own superiority. You are heavily attached to the idea of yourself as a highly capable person who knows better than others. This is an illusion. It's just repetitious thought patterns, nothing more. Thinking in this way creates a barrier between yourself and others.
Friendship is built on a mutual acceptance of others, and if you're unable to suspend your judgement, you won't be able to connect with people. Life is about action, not about words. The way that you perceive yourself is not accurate, that much is clear from your posts. Introspection is useful but in this case it seems like what people have said to you probably does have a reasonably accurate reflection on how you come off. If you want to help people, do it through actions. Feed people. Do chores for them. Don't try to change them intellectually, focus on helping yourself, on dissolving these heavily ingrained thought patterns through meditation and positive action. Some therapy would probably be helpful too.

Almost every person on this planet has a picture of how they think it should be, and this belief is usually unquestioned. Part of growing up in your early 20s (as am I) is realizing that you're not a special unique snowflake and that the universe doesn't revolve around you. Your inner landscape is a reflection of how others will relate to you. If you spend all the day thinking about what's wrong with the world and others, as you seem to be doing, then that will manifest in your way of being. The only person you can and should change is yourself.
 

kineticz

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Aug 7, 2014
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West Midlands, GB
Aspekt said:
I don't know exactly what your awakening entailed, but it doesn't seem like you've been able to apply whatever it was, in fact it's just reinforced your sense of your own superiority. You are heavily attached to the idea of yourself as a highly capable person who knows better than others. This is an illusion. It's just repetitious thought patterns, nothing more. Thinking in this way creates a barrier between yourself and others.
Friendship is built on a mutual acceptance of others, and if you're unable to suspend your judgement, you won't be able to connect with people. Life is about action, not about words. The way that you perceive yourself is not accurate, that much is clear from your posts. Introspection is useful but in this case it seems like what people have said to you probably does have a reasonably accurate reflection on how you come off. If you want to help people, do it through actions. Feed people. Do chores for them. Don't try to change them intellectually, focus on helping yourself, on dissolving these heavily ingrained thought patterns through meditation and positive action. Some therapy would probably be helpful too.

Exceptional insight Aspekt.


What if the person is highly capable and has a large amount of substance to back it?

What if a person has been backed into a corner, surrounded by cheap adverts, pop music trends, low wages and low level depression and anxiety across society, and adolescent years being manipulated, back stabbed. You must also be aware that society itself has a large part to play and it is not purely down to an individual struggling to find solutions to their awakening.

What is your view on society. To be able to socialise a person who has experienced awakening must find his or her 'best fit'. How do you go about this without wasting heaps of energy.

What if the mass commercialisation of society looks down on the gifted. Where do you go then.

You must also be aware that socialising with the wrong people can unconsciously lead to sacrifices in one's dreams, ones ambitions and goals, because you are expected to follow others' rules or conflict ensues.

A person is only truly happy when they are at one with themselves, nobody else is needed.
 

pepsi

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Apr 15, 2013
Messages
175
Location
Texas
Your a good looking guy, but you probably need to get a job or go to school. You say you will never work a day in your life? Well your going to have to if you want your living conditions to improve or you can just let a gay man take care of you. Your not going to have much luck finding a girl with no job, no car, and no prospects.
You sound helpless. A job will be good for you till you figure out what you really want to do , then go to school.
 

kineticz

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Aug 7, 2014
Messages
496
Age
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Location
West Midlands, GB
I would imagine, looking at your pictures, that combined with your perspective of the irrationality in the world, assuming that the whole world is as bad as your world, that when you have body language resembling resentment and anger, people will avoid you. You have very prolactin and noradrenaline colour to your eyes. I notice when my serotonin and dopamine are high, when I'm happy, my eyes turn blue. When I'm chronically depleted, defensive, pessimistic, let down by people to do the simplest of tasks (which is common in business), my eye colour seems to turn hazel/green. People don't seem to like this colour, except Asians. Asians in this state are more friendly to me and everyone else avoids me. Go figure. Also your mustache doesn't help, and your hair screams '12 year old Pokemon trainer'. Just being honest if you want constructive suggestions.

Sorry to break it to you, but the world moves in often primitive ways and energy flows, for the simple reason that most people feel safe being led, being taught, and feeling in control for short term gains. It can often appear that nobody but yourself understands life and that Western culture seems helpless, lacking in soul and unity - the constant pursuit for low wages, to eat, etc.

Your views might be right, but what you'll find is that you simply have to follow the economic rules in order to be heard. And with that will come responsibility. Join a gym and work on your endorphins.

Your vibrations appear very low in bonding and oxytocin, I would imagine there is some attention deficit disorder in there, and emotional immaturity due to instable, deceptive environment during upbringing.

I often wonder how difficult it is to build a life in remote American states. Here in the UK communities are very compact so socialising is something that hardens you, despite having individualist belief systems.

Besides, I read that hypothyroidism and low phenylalinine can cause a person to be overly defensive. Work on your pregnenolone.
 

mujuro

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Nov 14, 2014
Messages
696
Man to man: lose the facial hair. Find a barber shop, point to your hair and say "surprise me". You're not "ugly" by any means, friend.

If this thread rubs you the wrong way, don't be dismayed. We learn through struggle, it steels us and prepares us for future obstacles. No one ever had an interesting story to tell where all they got was happy endings.
 

SQu

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Jan 3, 2014
Messages
1,308
Ben there's lots of good thoughts here but what stood out for me was unhappiness in your family. If your brother's behaviour was never seen or believed by your parents and they never took your side, you would naturally feel alone and unsupported. I know it can be hard to find or afford the right kind of psychologist but if you can find the right person it can change your life. My teens and twenties were a write off because of my poor relationship with my mother. I had no confidence, made bad choices, was self destructive. I would sometimes see a flash of real dislike in her eyes. Still sometimes do but it's okay now because I found a therapist who believed me. She believed me and I was able to start believing that I was a good person capable of and deserving happiness. I slowly gained the strength to confront my mother - who backed down and whose unfairness towards me was seen for the first time by the family - and to move on. I could never have had a happy good life until I got to this stage and the right kind of help made it possible. Perhaps it can be done alone but you might waste years. Someone who is on your side, unconditionally, is what you need and deserve as a child and if you don't get it then, well fortunately someone else can do it for you but maybe in a professional relationship first.
 

yoshiesque

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Mar 9, 2014
Messages
367
I have (and known others) who have suffered from loneliness, isolation and struggle to make friends.

It all comes down to two things - Social Skills + Social Traits

Social skills involves a lot of concepts. Things like adding emotion to what you are saying, humor (which CAN be learnt btw), tonality (not being monotone), being able to relate to them, being understanding etc etc. List goes on. But for the most part, it all comes down to how much fun you bring to the table - thats the truth. And again, that can also be learnt. Try succeedsocially.com as a start and also get this:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003WEAI4E/?tag=rapefo-20

Traits is an interesting one. You could look at it as repetitive mistakes/faults that you are not aware of. I like to say traits because people get offended and take the word faults too seriously, like it implies they suck at life and are worthless. We are not perfect, we all make mistakes, some of them are habitual mistakes we make (which we acquired in some way through the past).

Bad social trait example - I got a friend who lots of people do not like because they think she is a b****. Shes actually not. But the problem is she tends to do things without realizing, that stereotypes her into one. One of them is, she rudely interrupts people when she needs to speak. She does it so often that it becomes an issue. If no one tells her, then she will go on wondering why everyone hates her, and she might just end up hating them too, thinking "**** these people". These are traits that are obvious soon, but sometimes there are ones that surface later, like after several interactions with someone.

If one person hates you, it may or may not be their fault. But if many people hate you (im sure its not hate, your most likely overthinking it) then its got nothing to do with YOU, but certain traits you have

We all have good/bad traits, and in life we go on assuming we have no bad social traits, or deny it. The moment we stop, and look for it, we get answers.

So either find someone who is very social to watch you and see what you might be doing, or even ask someone you already know. Get ready for the criticism, dont let it get you down. If they said "you tend to look really annoyed at everyone", then maybe you need to start actively pushing yourself to smile more, through setting reminders and such.

In addition to all the above, i recommend joining an improv class, toastmasters and even stand up comedy classes if possible (in order of most important to least). Improv class is great because their whole philosophy is to SUPPORT no matter what.

Dont associate this with your identity. Your identity is just what you like/dislike (from minor to major things). Minor being "i like dogs, not cats", major being "i want to do career X because I like it". It also consists of serious viewpoints you have, like religions beliefs for example.

But social skills/faults/traits (or lack of) does not represent your identity. So if people are putting you down or 'hate' you, know that its not really because of you, but rather things that you might be doing that you are unaware of.

I have things like this too. I dont speak loud enough and I am never the first one to take action, so people walk all over my ideas. Now I am pushing myself to to talk loud, be confident and put my hand up first when someone asks for a volunteer to get up or something.

Make sense? hope this helps.

Its all about asking WHY is this happening to me (and the answer is never "because im worthless") then asking HOW can i fix this? Which is usually specific actionable exercises that will eventually destroy old bad habits and create new good ones.

dont ever assume its impossible, this stuff can be fixed but it takes time and effort.

Dont expect people to come and spoon feed you out of it. Thats like an unemployed guy expecting someone to give him a career. Take responsibility and take action. I know it can hurt, but it will strengthen you in the long run and the rewards will be worth it, friends everywhere!

Oh and your mindset needs to change. if you already start hating everyone, then this journey will be painful. Either have the following thought process from now on:

1) Everyone is friendly and I just have not seen that side yet
OR
2) this person is ****88 but doesnt mean EVERYONE is. I am sure I will eventually meet people who are nice and friendly.

I prefer 1st one. Assume people are nice once you break that barrier. And that barrier cant be broken when we have bad traits we need to fix.
 

Kasper

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Sep 11, 2013
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I think you confuse getting recognition with finding connection a lot.

I mean, these 2 are almost opposite. This whole post you talk about how different you are from other people. "I just don't get it. I am a better person than others are. Nobody else cares about the future of the planet."

If you go with this attitute to people, trying to find connection, you won't get it. You say it yourself, you are different, you are better than the rest, how then can you connect ? However, if you go to people, and and tell them how you failed to make the world a better place, how you were not able to get out of your bed, until 2 o 'clock in the afternoon, they will start to open up to you as well. They will say, "hey, I've sometimes those days as well ! They suck, don't they ?" People like humblity.
 

kineticz

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yoshiesque said:
Oh and your mindset needs to change. if you already start hating everyone, then this journey will be painful. Either have the following thought process from now on:

1) Everyone is friendly and I just have not seen that side yet
OR
2) this person is f***ed but doesnt mean EVERYONE is. I am sure I will eventually meet people who are nice and friendly.

I prefer 1st one. Assume people are nice once you break that barrier. And that barrier cant be broken when we have bad traits we need to fix.

This. It's painful in the beginning but it's true. Let down your barriers and have more complacency in assessing who matters. Nobody even the best family relative will be perfect.

You will probably never meet someone who there isn't a risk of being turned against at the last minute. Like I said earlier, what will keep you going is your flexibility around people while maintaining SMART objectives (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely ).
 

yoshiesque

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Mar 9, 2014
Messages
367
Being brutally honest, if you come from a place where you stop blaming them, and take responsibility for everything, things will change.

In other words, blame yourself, but not in the sense where you start saying things like "I am worthless, I hate myself because its all my fault". Rather, better you say "Okay if its always happening to me there must be something im doing wrong, what is it?".

Find out what that WHAT is, and then find out HOW to fix it. Stop judging people, assuming everyone else does not care about the world and that only you do. Do NOT judge ANYONE. I have met enough people to know that the more we judge others, the less we can be happy. Racist people for example (extreme example i know).

Start talking to people for THEM. Talk to people and be curious about what their like, or what makes them happy. Then you will see things unfold. If you can honestly stop saying its THEM and that its SOMETHING you are doing (so not YOU, but a trait you have) then things will work out.

The world is not as selfish as you think, you just need to see it from a different angle. that takes time as you go through a set of new experiences.
 

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