19 year old male: insomnia, water retention, depression and suicidal thoughts (blood work, labs included)

[Rinse & rePeat]

Brother, I love you, even though I never met you, but the similarity between you and me has truely shooked me.

There is a way out of this, I swear, even though no solution seems in sight!

If you need someone to talk to to or chat, reach out for me, anytime, brother.

We care about you. We love you.


View: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ju6Q8Azcmg

I want him to be alive too, now I am crying…

 

[HeyThere]

I want him to be alive too, now I am crying…

I cried, too, especially because what I just posted above about lack of proper nutrition causing high cortisol which messes with water retention which can obviously cause a bloated face which could very clearly be his issue besides lifelong trauma caused by family.

 

[HeyThere]

• Have a cheat meal. As mentioned above, you don’t want to restrict your calories too much for too long, because this raises cortisol levels and also causes your leptin levels to decrease. Leptin, a hormone responsible for producing fat cells, will also slow your metabolism, increase your appetite, and cause depression if the levels are too low. By having a cheat meal, you keep those leptin levels balanced.

Water Retention: What Causes It and How to Get Rid of It?

Being that the human body is made mostly of water and needs it to function properly, you wouldn’t think something as beneficial as water could hold you back from achieving your weight loss and fitness goals. The funny thing is that sometimes the body decides to hold onto too much water, an issue...

gasparinutrition.com

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

I cried, too, especially because what I just posted above about lack of proper nutrition causing high cortisol which messes with water retention which can obviously cause a bloated face which could very clearly be his issue besides lifelong trauma caused by family.

You are so right., diet can exacerbate emotional and hormonal issues. My mother was horrible, with psychosis and treated us terrible. She was on pills, screamed at us, blaming us for all of her problems, let her gun toting alcohol husband abuse us, shoot at us, broke my brother’s nose and overall terrorize us for 11 years. She ruined my other siblings lives, with them still struggling and stuck in the past, but I decided not to put too much stock in blood relations, or into my mother’s opinions and put downs of of me and I rose above, to be a far better person than she was and my children reaped those benefits. I am a true believer that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. We really are no benefit to others if our life goes smoothly and there are no lessons to be learned. If Denizka can get through this somehow he will have the knowledge to get others through it. It reminds me of a Ray Peat story about a mouse study where rats swimming could swim for much longer periods than they previously did when they saw a rat escape peril. Boy my day feels a lot more somber than I had planned.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

A permanent solution to a temporary problem

 

[HeyThere]

You are so right., diet can exacerbate emotional and hormonal issues. My mother was horrible, with psychosis and treated us terrible. She was on pills, screamed at us, blaming us for all of her problems, let her gun toting alcohol husband abuse us, shoot at us, broke my brother’s nose and overall terrorize us for 11 years. She ruined my other siblings lives, with them still struggling and stuck in the past, but I decided not to put too much stock in blood relations, or into my mother’s opinions and put downs of of me and I rose above, to be a far better person than she was and my children reaped those benefits. I am a true believer that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. We really are no benefit to others if our life goes smoothly and there are no lessons to be learned. If Denizka can get through this somehow he will have the knowledge to get others through it. It reminds me of a Ray Peat story about a mouse study where rats swimming could swim for much longer periods than they previously did when they saw a rat escape peril. Boy my day feels a lot more somber than I had planned.

How does that quote go?

Your parents don't own you, they just give birth to you to bring you into the world.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

How does that quote go?

Your parents don't own you, they just give birth to you to bring you into the world.

"In one of the studies in which rats had been taught learned helplessness so they would drown in five or six minutes, just being able to see another rat escape would let the informed rat go for days without drowning. Just the recognition that someone else did it can make all the difference." Ray Peat

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

My 25 year old son who is also concerned here ask me to oust this…


View: https://youtu.be/qmKtyeQ9Ikk

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

…he wanted me to oust this one to, meant for us trying to help land understand this and for those left with the aftermath of suicide.



View: https://youtu.be/dQrV62DDr8w

 

[Peatness]

Personally, I think you should postpone killing yourself until you’ve corrected your vitamin D and calcium levels. Once those are normal you will be in a better position to plan your future. 19 is too young to give up on life, the body can heal itself - the mind might take a bit longer but it's possible. Look on the bright side at least you are in Russia imagine being in the UK, Germany, or other European countries when the gas runs out this winter. You are not alone, We are holding you.

 

[lady1light]

Please DO NOT kill yourself. I fully understand how difficult it is to deal with health problems. I’ve been battling Lyme disease, co-infections, and severe insomnia for a couple years now. A lot of days I feel very suicidal. I have lost a lot of my physical beauty, most of my friends, and have nothing, and I mean literally nothing going on in my life at the moment other than being bedbound and on loads of antibiotics. It’s very rough most days. And I often feel extremely hopeless, but I remind myself that at some point the suffering will get better. I feel strong in my soul knowing I can continue on through the despair. I’d you decide to stick around, one of my favorite books is Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse. It’s a beautiful story about a man who wishes to commit suicide but meets a friend who helps him see that life is worth living in spite of all its hardship. Well it’s about a lot more than that, and it’s a short read so not too overwhelming. Is it possible for you to take time off from school and work? Idk if you work but I was reading about how you’re going back to college. I think you need some deep rest. Have you spoken with your family about your suicidal thoughts? Sending so much love from California

 

[InChristAlone]

Peat says this:
“In inescapable stress, the stress hormones rather than pushing higher and higher on the cortisol and adrenaline direction to excite things run the heart at a faster rate the body shifts when it sees inability to escape it can simply switch gears and turn off that system and turn on the acetylcholine cholinergic system and the confinement inescapable stress which is the extreme of isolation the extreme opposite from enriched environment this turns on the cholinergic dominant system which lowers blood sugar and in consequence lowering the blood sugar activates histamine release. Some of the acetylcholine nerves such as vagus nerve amplified they're influence by releasing histamine which is it's very similar in its effects to acetylcholine so you can think of this kind of inescapable stress as turning on the histamine type of cholinergic action. Andrew: so this is really a kind of death situation this would be going towards death and away from life"


F*** acetylcholine.

 

[HeyThere]

Peat says this:
“In inescapable stress, the stress hormones rather than pushing higher and higher on the cortisol and adrenaline direction to excite things run the heart at a faster rate the body shifts when it sees inability to escape it can simply switch gears and turn off that system and turn on the acetylcholine cholinergic system and the confinement inescapable stress which is the extreme of isolation the extreme opposite from enriched environment this turns on the cholinergic dominant system which lowers blood sugar and in consequence lowering the blood sugar activates histamine release. Some of the acetylcholine nerves such as vagus nerve amplified they're influence by releasing histamine which is it's very similar in its effects to acetylcholine so you can think of this kind of inescapable stress as turning on the histamine type of cholinergic action. Andrew: so this is really a kind of death situation this would be going towards death and away from life"


F*** acetylcholine.

What's the answer to this??

 

[aniciete]

What's the answer to this??

Megadoses of vitamin c and relying on cypro

 

[HeyThere]

Megadoses of vitamin c and relying on cypro

Dang it. I cannot take Vitamin C. My mast cells get big under my skin, some almost as big as M&Ms. And cypro? The Black Box med?

 

[Peatness]

Peat says this:
“In inescapable stress, the stress hormones rather than pushing higher and higher on the cortisol and adrenaline direction to excite things run the heart at a faster rate the body shifts when it sees inability to escape it can simply switch gears and turn off that system and turn on the acetylcholine cholinergic system and the confinement inescapable stress which is the extreme of isolation the extreme opposite from enriched environment this turns on the cholinergic dominant system which lowers blood sugar and in consequence lowering the blood sugar activates histamine release. Some of the acetylcholine nerves such as vagus nerve amplified they're influence by releasing histamine which is it's very similar in its effects to acetylcholine so you can think of this kind of inescapable stress as turning on the histamine type of cholinergic action. Andrew: so this is really a kind of death situation this would be going towards death and away from life"


F*** acetylcholine.

Good find. I think eating 6 eggs a day might be making this situation worse.

 

[youngsinatra]

Good find. I think eating 6 eggs a day might be making this situation worse.

Definitely!
I got into the states of „high acetylcholine depression“ with lower intakes of choline than that.

 

[Peatness]

Definitely!
I got into the states of „high acetylcholine depression“ with lower intakes of choline than that.

I was a bit 'off' when I tried 3 eggs. I think the pufa might also be partly to blame.

 

[cs3000]

I have the same experience. My estradiol has dropped from 60 to <37 and I feel like a corpse.

if u decide to keep trying, to beat the thing that's been ******* with you and wants you dead -

u never know how close you are to a breakthrough that lightens a significant % of your issues. so f*ck letting it win if u give up now you lost to the darkness the enemy, you can keep using this as leverage to overcome it. have compassion for yourself & see that it's a lot for any human to deal with. realize you're in a fight for your life dont let it kill u, respect your humanity because when unimpaired its cool

you would benefit from separating from the storm of negative thinking as much as possible by recognizing it as the enemy, just seeing them arrive in your mind, & practicing re-directing back to this moment as much as possible to let the momentum of it lighten. it's not everything but then u have less clouded thinking to work with

your objective is to reject the emotional suggestions and lighten those thoughts over time. u are not here to be enslaved in suffering and be killed by it - making all that suffering be for nothing good leading just to death, thats whack as ****. u have potentials as an adaptable human
. you are here to push through in a patient manageable way over time, & overcome it building into a better way. if you figure it out then you can also help other people get out of a similar situation to experience this life more fully. u have the most powerful solution finding object in the universe (brain) and its functional enough to use seeing as you made this thread & tried some alterations. so there is always possibility:
youtube.com/watch?v=9ta0j3dlBLw
youtube.com/watch?v=kzh0WmhJ1VU
youtube.com/watch?v=9rpTnacDN_o


I noticed feeling absolute dogsh*t on boron which lowers estrogen a lot acutely. there's a lot of focus on lowering it but if people are already on the low end it's probably no good either. too many eggs ramps up overthinking in a lot of people i also notice this, so i stick to 1 a day max.

some things that stood out
1. I wonder what your cholesterol levels are? do you know if it's on the low end? -> low cholesterol is linked to higher suicide rates, and might explain the low estrogen
if so might be worth a try of low dose pregnenolone (i'd stay on the low end) & vitamin d (also would just stick to lower amounts for a while as can cause some people issues and too much might lower cholesterol slightly). and eating more butter to get cholesterol up (~20g+ daily). u said your sun exposure is good but vitamin D is still low. that's interesting to me because cholesterol is needed to transform sunlight into enough vit d

2. i'd go more calories consistently, enough to put on fat slightly and sustained around that calorie level, you don't have to get fat just ensure slight caloric surplus. higher end salt. and i'd keep less exercise until that's established but still walk a little to keep some movement daily without it being too strenuous
(too lean too much exercise not enough calories is no good, **** the face puffyness i dont even see it but even if it isn't exaggerated by depressive thinking, if aesthetics of that is the focus who gives a ***t in comparison to quality of life - too low too long = constantly in threat lack conserve mode. seems that's been a big factor by what you wrote).
at least a couple months to judge affects. i don't think people are supposed to be walking around at 7% bodyfat over months years intuitively it doesnt make sense for thriving. every time i've been this lean like right now i just feel worse. many athletes that do often binge after their competitions. or are on a bunch of gear to replace hormones & have top tier nutritionists. or probably crash or have some genetic adaptation for that. maybe your appetite is trying to tell you something

3. and if i was you i would be deep diving specifically into things that increase BDNF for any boxing damage you mentioned, if your style means you get hit a lot or have been knocked out or contact spar

treatment of traumatic brain injury, several of the studies showed promising results and there is evidence of a positive correlation between increased BDNF expression and improved functional outcome

Tropoflavin (7,8-Dihydroxyflavone) is one that crosses the blood brain barrier , nootropicsdepot sells it
7,8-DHF was found to be a potent mimic of BDNF able to act on TrkB in a similar manner. This means that 7,8-DHF could theoretically cause similar effects as BDNF in the brain, and in theory be more therapeutically useful due to its better absorption and ability to cross the blood-brain barrier. 7,8-Dihydroxyflavone Health benefits, dosage, safety, side-effects, and more | Supplements - Examine

 

[InChristAlone]

Dang it. I cannot take Vitamin C. My mast cells get big under my skin, some almost as big as M&Ms. And cypro? The Black Box med?

Cyproheptadine, an anticholinergic antihistamine that has been well studied and talked about a lot on the forum.