Do I Have Cte Brain Damage?

[Darius Jenkins]

Hello guys, so my life has been very tough and challenging. I really think i have a brain disorder. I struggle with ocd and anxiety and sometimes mild depression. I feel hopeless at times and ruminate alot. I dont know where this came from but i do have an idea on how it came about. Last year i struggled with suicidal thoughts because i felt alone and i had no friends at that time. School was stressing me out. I had struggled with pornography addiction and wanted to talk to this girl i had a crush on, but i didnt have the confidence. I kept on obsessing about her and that drove me crazy. I thoguht i was really a lame guy and wouldnt stand a chance with her. I kept this same thought pattern. I was getting mad and jealous of all the couples in my high school. School was also stressing me out at the time as i wasnt making good grades. I was molested and emotionally abused as a teen and that was on my mind alot. I had felt different from other guys. I felt like a failure and loser. This drove me to the point of wanting to end it all. So one day i went outside and i had a knife with me. I remeber i started cutting the side of my face. I cut some but not deep. The scars didnt seem noticeable. The next thing i did was bang my head on a pavement. I dont remember how many times i did it but it was probably 5-6 times. I was trying to break my skull. I banged it semi-hard but not hard enough to break or fracture anything. I really regret doing this and i think this is the reason why i have these problems. I feel like im a stupid person and have average intelligence. I feel slow at times. When i have a conversation with people i sometimes say stupid stuff or act weird. It takes me along time to respond to some things they say to me as well. I also cant pick up on soical cues. I dont know who else can relate to this. I have poor judegement moments too.

I had looked up symptoms of cte and i have some of them. I have memory loss, confusion, poor judgement , anxiety and depression and headaches.

I am so scared for my life right now i dont know what to do im trying so hard to hang in there and keep on living life. I dont wanna kill myself because of the effect it would have on my family.

I just have bad ocd and ruminate alot.

The mental scars from my past trauma is still with me. I just feel a lot of anger and agression. Ive had testicular surgery in the past and went through depression and had to take antidepressants.

 

[gaze]

No. if you were voluntarily smashing your head, it definitely wasn’t hard enough to cause long term damage because the body naturally holds itself back and doesn’t do bad things to itself full force, hence why you didn’t black out. and cte takes years of weekly head hits to develop. the nfl players you hear about getting cte are running 15 mph and getting hit straight in the head from another guy running the same speed who’s like 250 pounds, weekly for years. Almost every kid in the world has gotten hit in the head multiple times growing up, it’s part of life. Not sure how to fix your other problems though, but give yourself the ease of mind that you don’t have cte. I’d go to professional help to deal with emotional abuse such as child molestation if I were you. it’s too big of a problem for a young guy to work his way through in his own mind alone, especially one who has a lot of other problems to deal with.

 

[Hugh Johnson]

You could have. It could be the anti depressants or most likely a combination of things.

Can you get progesterone? That seems like the best thing for healing the brain. Another thing you might try is ho'oponopono. Dr. Joe Vitale has couple of books on it and you can get on for free by downloading audible and then ending the contract. It should help your emotional issues.

Other than that, try to eat healthy food. Most your problems probably come from psychological trauma and I had similar issues in my late teens due to abuse.