fatmaaaa16
Member
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2021
- Messages
- 73
Hi All
I’m trying to understand how to reduce narcissism within oneself and high ego; inability to rationalize being humble and having emotional reactions to “disrespect”.
I have this problem since I was young where I would feel “humiliated” easily and be unable to not react to it or “handle” it. I seem to sometimes be delusional in that I’m better than everyone (I hate this about myself, this is nothing I do intentionally and it hurts me and I have been co stipulated practicing IGNORING it but it is 100% still there.
I seem to care too much about how I look even when it’s not logical, be too embarrassed and want to never show weakness, essentially I suppose it’s fear. Irrational fear. I was somewhat raised that way, that I come from royal blood (which is true) and since very young always being told I’m better than everyone has apparently made me unable to lose that belief. Some days I am more empathetic, more humble, down to earth and wise(?). I don’t react to stupid narcisstic people and am able to easily separate that me not having a reaction or reacting to them isn’t a sign of weakened but strength. I guess I want to have more patience and a shorter fuse.
Things can be daily occurrences such as rude people on the street (I’m a woman and it’s usually other bitchy women) and I will get angry and come with a bitchy comeback but I don’t like this. I want to be above it because I genuinely believe this high ego is draining. I just want peace in my mind.
I have many health issues but honestly I’ve resolved them all now, essentially. However this is the one thing I can’t resolve. It sticks no matter what. I literally have to tell myself “that’s narcisstic” 24/7 in order to gather myself before doing an action that I otherwise would view as perfectly logical and the only possible response.
I guess I’m asking; what are the causes of this mental disorder of severe narcissism, high ego, being defensive when criticized….
I’m even ok with controlling my emotions now, but this constant narcissism is draining me.
I’m trying to understand how to reduce narcissism within oneself and high ego; inability to rationalize being humble and having emotional reactions to “disrespect”.
I have this problem since I was young where I would feel “humiliated” easily and be unable to not react to it or “handle” it. I seem to sometimes be delusional in that I’m better than everyone (I hate this about myself, this is nothing I do intentionally and it hurts me and I have been co stipulated practicing IGNORING it but it is 100% still there.
I seem to care too much about how I look even when it’s not logical, be too embarrassed and want to never show weakness, essentially I suppose it’s fear. Irrational fear. I was somewhat raised that way, that I come from royal blood (which is true) and since very young always being told I’m better than everyone has apparently made me unable to lose that belief. Some days I am more empathetic, more humble, down to earth and wise(?). I don’t react to stupid narcisstic people and am able to easily separate that me not having a reaction or reacting to them isn’t a sign of weakened but strength. I guess I want to have more patience and a shorter fuse.
Things can be daily occurrences such as rude people on the street (I’m a woman and it’s usually other bitchy women) and I will get angry and come with a bitchy comeback but I don’t like this. I want to be above it because I genuinely believe this high ego is draining. I just want peace in my mind.
I have many health issues but honestly I’ve resolved them all now, essentially. However this is the one thing I can’t resolve. It sticks no matter what. I literally have to tell myself “that’s narcisstic” 24/7 in order to gather myself before doing an action that I otherwise would view as perfectly logical and the only possible response.
I guess I’m asking; what are the causes of this mental disorder of severe narcissism, high ego, being defensive when criticized….
I’m even ok with controlling my emotions now, but this constant narcissism is draining me.