Depression, Isolation, And The Modern World

[DaveFoster]

I would love to hear some opinions from anyone who wants to throw their two cents in.

I've made a conscious effort over the past month to try to minimize negative self-talk patterns and accompanying feelings of isolation and loneliness. How do you guys deal with being non-aggressive and not relying on a serotenergic pathway for motivation; e.g. being hateful, putting others down to achieve, bolstering your ego due to the reclusive nature of our modern community.

For example, I go to college here at the University of Oregon. People have relationships with one another, but they tend to be short-lived and fragile due to incompatible belief structures (due to cultural pluralism and the adoption of narcissistic values.) I regularly see people crying, and we have an epidemic of anxiety and depression on campus, and indeed on many campuses throughout the country, of which I suffer. Many people seem fine, but there's a sizable number who appear withdrawn, lonesome, and empty. Self-medication comes in the form of recreational drugs, such as caffeine, marijuana, alcohol, and tobacco. Other options include benzodiazepine drugs, SSRI's, and MDMA.

My question is this: if aggression is a self-reinforcing cycle that needs to be broken, how can I maintain the motivation to break it? How do I restrain the excessive ego and leave myself unburdened by the insanity and loneliness? It's so hard to integrate and find common interests, and the negative effects of being isolated compounds this problem. This extends to romantic relationships (unfulfilling due to the hedonistic desires of my generation,) friendships (not value-based, but based upon convenience and desires of the moment), and even group communication, (centering around inclusive topics of no substance due to political correctness). Am I alone in my experience with these things?

If any have suffered similar trials, what have you guys done to break out from this cycle and build your self-confidence? I would appreciate any advice, and I'd like this to be helpful for others who suffer from the same problems.

 

[barefooter]

I haven't really ever dealt with aggression, but spent plenty of my life dealing with isolation, loneliness, depression, and anxiety, so I'll offer my thoughts. You mention trying to minimize negative self talk patterns, and I'm curious what kind of techniques you're using. In my personal experience, putting the focus on what I'm doing with my time, who I'm interacting with, etc. seems to be way more useful than focusing on the contents of my thoughts and trying to figure out how to change them. Trying to change my thinking never works for me in a sustainable way, but making a conscious effort to engage daily with people I like and activities I love, helps keep my thoughts where I want them.

Based on your posts, you seem like a highly analytical person, as I am. I suspect such people are more prone to these kind of feedback loops of negative thoughts, as they begin over analyzing their thought process which can lead to a downward spiral. I never had this problem when I was younger, because I was always thinking about hanging out with friends, going on adventures, programming, making cool things, etc. As I've gotten older, I think I've become increasingly bored with life/work, and my thoughts have increasingly turned in on myself, which I think is an absolutely terrible situation. Is is possible you're just bored, and you've made the study of your own health your favorite subject? You seem very intelligent, maybe what you need are more mental challenges that use that brain to do meaningful and fun work, rather than over analyzing your every thought. Why not become a brilliant engineer or scientist and spend time solving problems way more interesting and bigger than just your own health.

As for loneliness, I'm not sure I can offer much advice, as I kinda suck at this too. But, one thing I've learned is that genuinely connecting with people doesn't really seem to be that much about common interests and values. On the surface, conversations seem mostly about the content, but based on some things I've read and personal experience, I think they're really mostly about non verbal and emotional queues which foster a strong connection. I read a really interesting article about some research showing that the way people talk (sentence structure, tone, etc.) is far more important than content in determining if there is a connection. Certain people I just feel good with right off the bat, and I think this mostly has to do with non verbal queues, as well as style of communication, which makes me feel confident and safe. I didn't used to pay attention to this when I was younger, because I would think oh, so and so isn't into what I'm into so I won't get to know them. Now, when I meet someone that I just feel good being around I put a lot of energy into pursuing a friendship with them even if our interests are very different. That being said, of course there are people with certain values/interests that I'm highly unlikely to get along with.

And as for that aggression, maybe instead of focusing on it as something negative, you need to find a better way to vent it, like taking up martial arts or something. Just a thought.

 

[DaveFoster]

@barefooter Thank you. I'll take your advice to heart.

 

[CarbAppreciator]

Def experienced this at high school and college, im only a few years older than you. I wish someone had been there all along to remind me to stay true to yourself. I wish they had pounded me over the head with that every day. I integrated pretty well, but was majorly depressed at having given up my own morals to do so. The pressure to conform is very strong in these environments, and unfortunately virtues are not part of this conformist culture. I think if you are virtuous, you are more resilient to isolation. Even very small acts of selflessness can make you feel good.

A fool proof way to build self confidence is to stop lying. Its easier said than done, but this will slowly increase your sense of self worth and make you feel that yourself and everything you say is valuable to society.

I would say to stay active, join clubs, take up a sport, racquet sports, chess, rock climbing, anything. Most everyone you meet will probably ask you to go out drinking. If you say "no i dont drink", thats way better than saying " sorry no i dont drink". Its small things like that through which people will see that you have conviction in your beliefs, and everyone respects that, even if they don't share your beliefs. Some people will want to spend time with you, and some won't. Those that will are seeing that you are honest and trustworthy and hold yourself and your beliefs in high esteem, and they want to be around you because of that, and not for shallow reasons. You may find people's beliefs start to sway towards yours, simply because they see that you are for real and have conviction in them. It can be hard, I know, and it may take a while just to make one quality relationship, but that kind of quality relationship is well worth the wait. so don't get discouraged.

 

[Drareg]

I second the stop lying by doorknob, Peat or Blake said telling the truth at the wrong time is worse, I agree with this so its good to keep in mind, in general speak the truth, some people will run a mile from you others will think you are hilarious, it's sad the truth these days cracks people up! You could get sacked from your job for being truthful so keep this in mind if you need the finance.

Love is something you don't mention,it can sound cheesy but love is hugely important, in general I beleive love is a desire to give to others because you empathise with their struggle,an inner knowing we are one organism evolving,we are only as good as the back of the line?

I know we had a similar debate on the altruism thread , you can still give your shoes to another in need ,yes some might do it for their own benefit of looking philanthropic, it doesn't take away from the fact someone who needed shoes now has shoes.
Pathological behaviour is all about me,me,me , you are connected to everyone else so nothing will ever be for yourself,this is an illusion painted by your ego Imo.

Does unconditional love exist? is the rampant pathological narcissism an individual's way of craving/testing unconditional love,give to me because I am me?
These boxes should be ticked by parents when younger, great parents are the ones who teach cooperation,working together?
Perhaps until a certain age the child should be consistently adored without question? we see the mice who get more affection in the form of licks form the parent grow up to be more resilient.

When all is said and done we must then discuss the parent of most of humanity,capitalism etc and of course what they are ,ideas and theory's,they don't have to have truth underlying them.

 

[DaveFoster]

Def experienced this at high school and college, im only a few years older than you. I wish someone had been there all along to remind me to stay true to yourself. I wish they had pounded me over the head with that every day. I integrated pretty well, but was majorly depressed at having given up my own morals to do so. The pressure to conform is very strong in these environments, and unfortunately virtues are not part of this conformist culture. I think if you are virtuous, you are more resilient to isolation. Even very small acts of selflessness can make you feel good.

A fool proof way to build self confidence is to stop lying. Its easier said than done, but this will slowly increase your sense of self worth and make you feel that yourself and everything you say is valuable to society.

I would say to stay active, join clubs, take up a sport, racquet sports, chess, rock climbing, anything. Most everyone you meet will probably ask you to go out drinking. If you say "no i dont drink", thats way better than saying " sorry no i dont drink". Its small things like that through which people will see that you have conviction in your beliefs, and everyone respects that, even if they don't share your beliefs. Some people will want to spend time with you, and some won't. Those that will are seeing that you are honest and trustworthy and hold yourself and your beliefs in high esteem, and they want to be around you because of that, and not for shallow reasons. You may find people's beliefs start to sway towards yours, simply because they see that you are for real and have conviction in them. It can be hard, I know, and it may take a while just to make one quality relationship, but that kind of quality relationship is well worth the wait. so don't get discouraged.

Thanks, Rob. Just recently, I've considered just dropping all my convictions just to be able to relate to others. I'm not the kind of person who would do so, but it's difficult to be the outlier. Maybe it's just an illusion of being the outlier. Either way, staying true to yourself and being consistent are fantastic things.

I do have a very good friend; loyal, honest, and he shares my worldview. I'm very fortunate to have met someone like myself. The problem is that having one friend is hard when both he and I are busy and stressed. Don't apologize for who you are. Good advice.

I second the stop lying by doorknob, Peat or Blake said telling the truth at the wrong time is worse, I agree with this so its good to keep in mind, in general speak the truth, some people will run a mile from you others will think you are hilarious, it's sad the truth these days cracks people up! You could get sacked from your job for being truthful so keep this in mind if you need the finance.

Love is something you don't mention,it can sound cheesy but love is hugely important, in general I beleive love is a desire to give to others because you empathise with their struggle,an inner knowing we are one organism evolving,we are only as good as the back of the line?

I know we had a similar debate on the altruism thread , you can still give your shoes to another in need ,yes some might do it for their own benefit of looking philanthropic, it doesn't take away from the fact someone who needed shoes now has shoes.
Pathological behaviour is all about me,me,me , you are connected to everyone else so nothing will ever be for yourself,this is an illusion painted by your ego Imo.

Does unconditional love exist? is the rampant pathological narcissism an individual's way of craving/testing unconditional love,give to me because I am me?
These boxes should be ticked by parents when younger, great parents are the ones who teach cooperation,working together?
Perhaps until a certain age the child should be consistently adored without question? we see the mice who get more affection in the form of licks form the parent grow up to be more resilient.

When all is said and done we must then discuss the parent of most of humanity,capitalism etc and of course what they are ,ideas and theory's,they don't have to have truth underlying them.

Interesting what you said about narcissism. It's much more comprehensive to think of these things as an adaptive response to stress, or lacking love in this case, rather than a conscious choice in development.

Paradoxically, I feel that when people are in this state, they are no longer receptive to conventional forms of love. They view everything in terms of power. I'm not sure how to break this cycle. Any thoughts?

 

[postman]

I think relationships are not working because of the death of patriarchy and conservative family values, not cultural "incompatibilities".

Why is hate wrong? Is it not a natural human emotion?

How could aggression ever be construed as something inherently negative? I can at least see where you're coming from regarding hate, but not aggression...

Stop being so concerned with the thoughts of others, break the rules of political correctness when you feel like it, tell people how you feel about these things that you're describing, become a human being again.

 

[Drareg]

Adaptive response to stress makes sense, not knowing what love is,they require constant approval from others,no energy to think for themselves therefore they/we mimick.

We become a thought,verbal ejaculator of ideas from the past?
Are the ideas they project coherent? This is where free will comes into question, the thoughts you think,words you speak are all from the past.

Is their a real you in their somewhere? Or is life about building the "you"?
Is it possible to access originality? Is this what is labelled genius?
Recognising this potential may be the first step toward free will, the only thing that may be unchanging is the forms underlying reality that create the continues change we decode with our 5 senses, Wolgang Smith speaks of the senses as a freezing of motion device of sorts,hence the reason you can envision different potentials within the mind.

Outside of these forms it seems we can change everything with energy applied to the change. Being coherent with these forms is genius? Biologically you can access this?
The philosophies teach the good work/behaviour will get you there,the alchemist was for changing psychology and with that everything changes to the higher thoughts,coherent with the underlying forms causing motion and change.they keep it hidden that they used ergot derivatives and psilocybin,this is intentionally done? Or is it hubris and ignorance of biology?
You can access infinite potential relative to this body's state.

We are all possessed by ghosts, some are demonic, some are angelic like, this is what the ancient philosophy's/religions seem obssesed with, Ray Peat however might apply hormones,epigentics changes to demonic and angelic entities for example.
The ghosts are epigentics marks from past behaviour of ancestors,we are all connected through this, your selfishness now will be affecting other people epigentically, their offspring generations later may be the reason your offspring are oppressed and enslaved.

Humanities wars and deplorable behaviour in general is like you fighting with your reflection,a slightly delayed reflection.

 

[CarbAppreciator]

Its necessary to drop your convictions if you want to conform, but that will likely leave you feeling empty inside, like most young people. You can have your convictions and still relate to people. Even if you are a green alien, you can relate and say "If I was born in this society I would probably have the same values as these humans" Its all just shaped by our environment... TV, movies, music, education all giving people their values, and if you notice those values are lies and make you feel bad or disempower you, or cause mass disunity and chaos... then good for you, most people don't notice that, they don't even question it, and if they do, they don't have the conviction to change, and they regret it later, i def regret it.

If you ever feel aggressive (like angry violent aggression, not self confidence), or nervous, or depressed, its not helpful to immediately try to change that feeling. After all, that emotion is true and honest, and acting like it is wrong or trying to hide it is just dishonest. It is lying to yourself. Just take a moment and really feel it, and say, "hey, i feel really nervous...hmm." Then consider whether that emotion is well founded or not. Mostly, it is not. There are no sabre tooth cats hunting you, your life is not in danger, and when you remind yourself of this, it is very easy to say this is silly and move on. Even if something really bad happens, life will go on. So feel it and forget it.

I wouldn't worry about ego. Everyone has an ego, it is natural. It probably peaks around your age anyway, as a young guy. Then as people age it shrinks because with wisdom and experience you realize you are just stardust anyway. But hey you should have a big ego, you are well adapted to survive these confusing times, and you are building and maintaining your body well, rather than destroying it. So be proud of that, it's ok to think you are better... lots of guys your age think chugging a beer in 5 seconds makes them better, that's how they feed their ego, and feeding your ego lies makes it a monster. If your ego is governed by virtues then it can serve you well in life. If you dont accept beliefs that disempower you, then you will be more powerful than those who do accept them, so thats good, feel more powerful, while at the same time sympathizing with other people, because like i said they are just victims of the society they are brought up in. Its not their fault, its not anyones fault, its just the way it is, so try to enjoy it!

 

[DaveFoster]

I think relationships are not working because of the death of patriarchy and conservative family values, not cultural "incompatibilities".

Why is hate wrong? Is it not a natural human emotion?

How could aggression ever be construed as something inherently negative? I can at least see where you're coming from regarding hate, but not aggression...

Stop being so concerned with the thoughts of others, break the rules of political correctness when you feel like it, tell people how you feel about these things that you're describing, become a human being again.

Why is rape wrong? It's a natural human urge.

Because aggression is negative by its very definition, where the positive would be compassion.

I think we're understanding aggression as different concepts. When I say aggression, I'm thinking of the same aggression that drives someone against their environment from a position of desperation. I'm not talking about asserting one's self.

I think your advice is solid. Thanks for the feedback.

Adaptive response to stress makes sense, not knowing what love is,they require constant approval from others,no energy to think for themselves therefore they/we mimick.

We become a thought,verbal ejaculator of ideas from the past?
Are the ideas they project coherent? This is where free will comes into question, the thoughts you think,words you speak are all from the past.

Is their a real you in their somewhere? Or is life about building the "you"?
Is it possible to access originality? Is this what is labelled genius?
Recognising this potential may be the first step toward free will, the only thing that may be unchanging is the forms underlying reality that create the continues change we decode with our 5 senses, Wolgang Smith speaks of the senses as a freezing of motion device of sorts,hence the reason you can envision different potentials within the mind.

Outside of these forms it seems we can change everything with energy applied to the change. Being coherent with these forms is genius? Biologically you can access this?
The philosophies teach the good work/behaviour will get you there,the alchemist was for changing psychology and with that everything changes to the higher thoughts,coherent with the underlying forms causing motion and change.they keep it hidden that they used ergot derivatives and psilocybin,this is intentionally done? Or is it hubris and ignorance of biology?
You can access infinite potential relative to this body's state.

We are all possessed by ghosts, some are demonic, some are angelic like, this is what the ancient philosophy's/religions seem obssesed with, Ray Peat however might apply hormones,epigentics changes to demonic and angelic entities for example.
The ghosts are epigentics marks from past behaviour of ancestors,we are all connected through this, your selfishness now will be affecting other people epigentically, their offspring generations later may be the reason your offspring are oppressed and enslaved.

Humanities wars and deplorable behaviour in general is like you fighting with your reflection,a slightly delayed reflection.

You voice a lot of similar thoughts to myself. Should we be who we desire to be, or rather support the body and let action flow from this calibrated state? I propose the latter; I used to believe the former, but it's insanity to try to use the logical mind to control our behavior.

I never really thought of karma in a sense of generational inheritance. This makes a lot of sense to me, and I thank you for offering your perspective. Do you have any conclusions to offer from this idea? I don't think offering love and acceptance to those who reject it will bring any fruit, but the opposite seems equally misguided.

 

[Dessert_All_Day]

I think the Principle of Negation is useful here. You mentioned that many around you self-medicate in various ways. We know some of those ways are more harmful than others (tobacco, alcohol, SSRIs, MDMA). Yet, by the same token, we know that the stress of foregoing all self-medicating can also be damaging. Negation leaves us with one option: self-medicate in the safest ways possible. Caffeine, sugar, marijuana (ingested rather than smoked) & LSD (if you can safely obtain it) Netflix, video games, creating or listening to good music/art, a better social life, etc.

And, just my pet theory here of course, but I also think that depression in and of itself is not necessarily as debilitating as those in power want us to believe. A certain amount is healthy in my opinion, especially if one's life has been particularly shitty lately. It's natural. People in power, of course, don't want the people working for them to be depressed because they won't work as hard. This is why the establishment loves calling depression a disease and labeling as many forms of it as possible. This is why it loves SSRIs and is constantly shoving positive thinking and other pop-psychology nonsense down our throats.

Personally, I'd rather be depressed and true and present to that feeling than constantly trying to be happier than I actually am, which is what it seems like a frighteningly large percentage of society has become very skilled at. It strikes me as an extraordinarily stressful way to live, not to mention it's creepy (ever watch a Tony Robbins seminar?).

 

[ecstatichamster]

Stop masturbation. Stop porn and fantasy. It creates a huge positive wellspring of good feelings and drive. And makes having a partner much easier. And that makes everything a lot better.

 

[Drareg]

Why is rape wrong? It's a natural human urge.

Because aggression is negative by its very definition, where the positive would be compassion.

I think we're understanding aggression as different concepts. When I say aggression, I'm thinking of the same aggression that drives someone against their environment from a position of desperation. I'm not talking about asserting one's self.

I think your advice is solid. Thanks for the feedback.


You voice a lot of similar thoughts to myself. Should we be who we desire to be, or rather support the body and let action flow from this calibrated state? I propose the latter; I used to believe the former, but it's insanity to try to use the logical mind to control our behavior.

I never really thought of karma in a sense of generational inheritance. This makes a lot of sense to me, and I thank you for offering your perspective. Do you have any conclusions to offer from this idea? I don't think offering love and acceptance to those who reject it will bring any fruit, but the opposite seems equally misguided.

You can still direct yourself to goals and also be adaptable as opportunity arises. Be mindful of your goals, who put them in your head and are they coherent is always a good thinking excercise.

By calming down the primitive reactions or antiquated hormone responses you should be able to focus,be more coherent, it's at this point your inner voice goes quiet, this inner voice is the past responses talking,at no point does this inner voice offer inspiration,it's projecting and reacting,it's information is in the past.
Inspiration pops into our heads like something coming over the radio, where this comes from I don't know but I do believe by being biologically coherent by whatever means you can tune into this much better.

At this point you use the ego to direct yourself, this is willpower,again requiring energy to keep it coherent,as energy wanes so does will power and up pops the inner voice,past responses etc.

I don't have a conclusion just yet,just more questions,the mirror effect (karma) is real,it's not instant and we are all connected to it I currently think, in a way of you do reincarnate you would possibly be living in a society in the future that is suffering because of your behaviour in 2016, I don't currently support reincarnation and I'm reluctant to use the karma term as they are both bastardised terms, a knew terminology is needed to describe the phenomena along the lines of Ray Peat.
Once these patterns are understood you should be able to predict human responses accurately including your own,the sad thing is many elites already know this,many religions/esoteric doctrines teach this, the happy ending is many of them are ignorant of coherent biology or ideal biological forms.
Their system is collapsing because human health and energy is, the very health system they built and supported is poisoning them. Mirror,mirror on the wall,who has the last lols of them all, also known as karma.

If they don't take love and acceptance then offer them truth depending on the context.

 

[Dessert_All_Day]

Stop masturbation. Stop porn and fantasy. It creates a huge positive wellspring of good feelings and drive. And makes having a partner much easier. And that makes everything a lot better.

Having a partner makes everything a lot better? 50+% of [previously] married people might disagree with you on that one

 

[postman]

Why is rape wrong? It's a natural human urge.

Rape is wrong because it violates the physical integrity of another individual. Notice how I said EMOTIONS are not inherently wrong, not that not acting on all your urges is wrong. It's a big difference.

Because aggression is negative by its very definition, where the positive would be compassion.

I think we're understanding aggression as different concepts. When I say aggression, I'm thinking of the same aggression that drives someone against their environment from a position of desperation. I'm not talking about asserting one's self.

That's a perfectly valid definition and I'm still disagreeing with you. You could argue that such a case would be the whole evolutionary advantage of having aggressive feelings even. If you are in a bad situation and you feel frustrated, you will eventually become angry if the situation doesn't change. This anger will motivate you to change the situation. In this case it could make you move to a different environment, or try to change your current environment, or try to find some different coping mechanism. If you never got those "negative" frustrated feelings you would probably never have made this thread. If someone is mistreating you to the point where you are actually being damaged, the appropriate response is not endless compassion and submission but instead aggression and assertion of yourself and your wellbeing.

"Negative feelings" are also part of being a human just as much as the "positive feelings" are, and they might not actually be negative at all even if it doesn't feel good at the time.

I think your advice is solid. Thanks for the feedback.

May I ask you if you are a Christian or do you have that avatar image just because it looks good?

 

[Drareg]

I think relationships are not working because of the death of patriarchy and conservative family values, not cultural "incompatibilities".

Why is hate wrong? Is it not a natural human emotion?

How could aggression ever be construed as something inherently negative? I can at least see where you're coming from regarding hate, but not aggression...

Stop being so concerned with the thoughts of others, break the rules of political correctness when you feel like it, tell people how you feel about these things that you're describing, become a human being again.

The op has no choice to be concerned with the thoughts of others,we are all concerned with the thoughts of others, human thoughts are the reason we have issues on the planet.
You negate being human when you don't concern yourself with the thoughts of others.
Everything you currently are is because of the thoughts of others,your parents thought they would have a child for example, they then filled you full of their thoughts etc.

In a highly coherent energised state you don't need aggression, you can just do what's necessary depending on the context ,aggression would be negative because it is incoherent use of energy and flow, serotonin fuelled aggression is an example,serotonin effects the flow of energy through cells,as above so below rings through here.
Aggression is a sign of weakness,it's a sign your energy is on its last legs.

 

[DaveFoster]

I think the Principle of Negation is useful here. You mentioned that many around you self-medicate in various ways. We know some of those ways are more harmful than others (tobacco, alcohol, SSRIs, MDMA). Yet, by the same token, we know that the stress of foregoing all self-medicating can also be damaging. Negation leaves us with one option: self-medicate in the safest ways possible. Caffeine, sugar, marijuana (ingested rather than smoked) & LSD (if you can safely obtain it) Netflix, video games, creating or listening to good music/art, a better social life, etc.

And, just my pet theory here of course, but I also think that depression in and of itself is not necessarily as debilitating as those in power want us to believe. A certain amount is healthy in my opinion, especially if one's life has been particularly shitty lately. It's natural. People in power, of course, don't want the people working for them to be depressed because they won't work as hard. This is why the establishment loves calling depression a disease and labeling as many forms of it as possible. This is why it loves SSRIs and is constantly shoving positive thinking and other pop-psychology nonsense down our throats.

Personally, I'd rather be depressed and true and present to that feeling than constantly trying to be happier than I actually am, which is what it seems like a frighteningly large percentage of society has become very skilled at. It strikes me as an extraordinarily stressful way to live, not to mention it's creepy (ever watch a Tony Robbins seminar?).

I can attest to people acting in this way. I find that when I'm in an ideal metabolic state, however, I can deal with problems without letting the problems affect me in a negative way. They don't hamper my behavior, but they do make an imprint in my mind. Mania also has this effect.

My family definitely does the whole, "Stay positive. Smile even if you don't feel like it." I think there's value in trying to maintain a state of happiness, but not if you neglect your emotions.

You can still direct yourself to goals and also be adaptable as opportunity arises. Be mindful of your goals, who put them in your head and are they coherent is always a good thinking excercise.

By calming down the primitive reactions or antiquated hormone responses you should be able to focus,be more coherent, it's at this point your inner voice goes quiet, this inner voice is the past responses talking,at no point does this inner voice offer inspiration,it's projecting and reacting,it's information is in the past.
Inspiration pops into our heads like something coming over the radio, where this comes from I don't know but I do believe by being biologically coherent by whatever means you can tune into this much better.

At this point you use the ego to direct yourself, this is willpower,again requiring energy to keep it coherent,as energy wanes so does will power and up pops the inner voice,past responses etc.

I don't have a conclusion just yet,just more questions,the mirror effect (karma) is real,it's not instant and we are all connected to it I currently think, in a way of you do reincarnate you would possibly be living in a society in the future that is suffering because of your behaviour in 2016, I don't currently support reincarnation and I'm reluctant to use the karma term as they are both bastardised terms, a knew terminology is needed to describe the phenomena along the lines of Ray Peat.
Once these patterns are understood you should be able to predict human responses accurately including your own,the sad thing is many elites already know this,many religions/esoteric doctrines teach this, the happy ending is many of them are ignorant of coherent biology or ideal biological forms.
Their system is collapsing because human health and energy is, the very health system they built and supported is poisoning them. Mirror,mirror on the wall,who has the last lols of them all, also known as karma.

If they don't take love and acceptance then offer them truth depending on the context.

Well said. Very well said. It's a hard knock life offering truth to everybody, but I do think it's the only way to live without destroying yourself in the long-run.

Rape is wrong because it violates the physical integrity of another individual. Notice how I said EMOTIONS are not inherently wrong, not that not acting on all your urges is wrong. It's a big difference.


That's a perfectly valid definition and I'm still disagreeing with you. You could argue that such a case would be the whole evolutionary advantage of having aggressive feelings even. If you are in a bad situation and you feel frustrated, you will eventually become angry if the situation doesn't change. This anger will motivate you to change the situation. In this case it could make you move to a different environment, or try to change your current environment, or try to find some different coping mechanism. If you never got those "negative" frustrated feelings you would probably never have made this thread. If someone is mistreating you to the point where you are actually being damaged, the appropriate response is not endless compassion and submission but instead aggression and assertion of yourself and your wellbeing.

"Negative feelings" are also part of being a human just as much as the "positive feelings" are, and they might not actually be negative at all even if it doesn't feel good at the time.


May I ask you if you are a Christian or do you have that avatar image just because it looks good?

I can't disagree with anything you've said. I'm saying that a positive force, by its nature should be the goal; its continuation and desirability makes it the ideal. It doesn't mean that the undesirable doesn't exist.

I consider myself a Christian, as it mirrors my values. My avatar had little to do with it at the time, but I do have a preference for idealism. I admire Guy de Lusignan as a historical figure; his wife sacrificed a great deal of her power and influence to be with him, as they loved one another. I think that's neat.

The op has no choice to be concerned with the thoughts of others,we are all concerned with the thoughts of others, human thoughts are the reason we have issues on the planet.
You negate being human when you don't concern yourself with the thoughts of others.
Everything you currently are is because of the thoughts of others,your parents thought they would have a child for example, they then filled you full of their thoughts etc.

In a highly coherent energised state you don't need aggression, you can just do what's necessary depending on the context ,aggression would be negative because it is incoherent use of energy and flow, serotonin fuelled aggression is an example,serotonin effects the flow of energy through cells,as above so below rings through here.
Aggression is a sign of weakness,it's a sign your energy is on its last legs.

Completely my experience as well.

Its necessary to drop your convictions if you want to conform, but that will likely leave you feeling empty inside, like most young people. You can have your convictions and still relate to people. Even if you are a green alien, you can relate and say "If I was born in this society I would probably have the same values as these humans" Its all just shaped by our environment... TV, movies, music, education all giving people their values, and if you notice those values are lies and make you feel bad or disempower you, or cause mass disunity and chaos... then good for you, most people don't notice that, they don't even question it, and if they do, they don't have the conviction to change, and they regret it later, i def regret it.

If you ever feel aggressive (like angry violent aggression, not self confidence), or nervous, or depressed, its not helpful to immediately try to change that feeling. After all, that emotion is true and honest, and acting like it is wrong or trying to hide it is just dishonest. It is lying to yourself. Just take a moment and really feel it, and say, "hey, i feel really nervous...hmm." Then consider whether that emotion is well founded or not. Mostly, it is not. There are no sabre tooth cats hunting you, your life is not in danger, and when you remind yourself of this, it is very easy to say this is silly and move on. Even if something really bad happens, life will go on. So feel it and forget it.

I wouldn't worry about ego. Everyone has an ego, it is natural. It probably peaks around your age anyway, as a young guy. Then as people age it shrinks because with wisdom and experience you realize you are just stardust anyway. But hey you should have a big ego, you are well adapted to survive these confusing times, and you are building and maintaining your body well, rather than destroying it. So be proud of that, it's ok to think you are better... lots of guys your age think chugging a beer in 5 seconds makes them better, that's how they feed their ego, and feeding your ego lies makes it a monster. If your ego is governed by virtues then it can serve you well in life. If you dont accept beliefs that disempower you, then you will be more powerful than those who do accept them, so thats good, feel more powerful, while at the same time sympathizing with other people, because like i said they are just victims of the society they are brought up in. Its not their fault, its not anyones fault, its just the way it is, so try to enjoy it!

Again, great words, Rob. It becomes increasingly difficult to maintain yourself when you integrate more and more into an environment with others who clash. I guess just dancing around topics of importance might be the way to go.

Stop masturbation. Stop porn and fantasy. It creates a huge positive wellspring of good feelings and drive. And makes having a partner much easier. And that makes everything a lot better.

NoFap hardmode over 90 days strong, sex withstanding.

 

[postman]

I consider myself a Christian, as it mirrors my values. My avatar had little to do with it at the time, but I do have a preference for idealism. I admire Guy de Lusignan as a historical figure; his wife sacrificed a great deal of her power and influence to be with him, as they loved one another. I think that's neat.

Then don't take it from me, take it from God.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 

[DaveFoster]

Then don't take it from me, take it from God.

I think unhappiness comes well enough without our hastening its arrival.

 

[postman]

I think unhappiness comes well enough without our hastening its arrival.

I don't understand what you're trying to say. What I was trying to show is that those negative emotions are legitimate and not inherently bad, not that they should be sought after.