Vileplume
Member
When I was a teenager, I could write with such emotion that it would make people cry. That’s how I won over my first high school girlfriend — stuck an eloquent note in her locker, which made her tear up and laugh. I’m not sure when in my life I lost this ability, but I first noticed it in college. Still able to attain a girlfriend, I tried writing her love letters with the same voracity I did with my first girlfriend. The ability left me. The same is true for academic writing too — I notice my confidence, my vocabulary, my sense of humor, and my verbal fluency are all fragments of what they used to be.
Sadly it’s not just the writing that’s taken a hit. Everyday of my life I feel like I’m operating at 65% of my total potential, every social interaction as a reminder that my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders. I know many on this forum can relate to this chronic sub-par state. I wake up with high adrenaline most days, I have minimal libido, I’ve developed quite a bit of belly fat in addition to my man boobs, I haven’t had a day without stomach problems in months, and my brain sits in a fog all day long.
But I’m never giving up. I’m going to heal myself. I’m going to improve my 65% subjective rating, not stopping until I’m at 90% at a minimum.
How did I get like this?
It started at 16. A chubby high schooler who wanted to look like Robert Plant, I decided I was going to lose weight no matter what it took. So I stopped eating, and I hit the stair master. Everyday. I would wake up, eat a 100 calorie yoplait light yogurt, and go to thw gym, where I would pour buckets of sweat for about an hour, burning hundreds and hundreds of calories. I did this for about 7 months, and I succeeded in losing weight. 220 to 145 pounds. At this low weight, I was thin. But I also temporarily blacked out whenever I stood up, I lost the attraction to any girl, I became irritable, stopped appreciating physical touch, and I became a socially awkward pushover.
It was at this point, 17, that I developed bad constipation that no doctor could solve. I would poop once a week, pebbles. My TSH had reached 2.3, quite high for a high schooler. Still, I never suspected that I might have damaged my metabolism because I didn’t know anything about physiology.
In college, I improved a bit unintentionally. I began eating more, but also partied a lot, drinking lots of alcohol and smoking lots of weed. My stomach remained a problem, but I managed it all right. I also remained a big pushover, I remained spacey and aloof, and I remained awkward, lacking confidence. The next big turning point came when I began my teaching career.
2015: Teaching and stress
At 25 I began my career teaching high school English. Very quickly I became depressed due to the stress level. An non-confrontational person, I wasn’t prepared to manage 120 high schoolers throughout the day. But, hearing that “the first few years are always the hardest,” I stuck with it. I tried antidepressants for a few months my second year, but I quickly felt like I had lost my soul so I stopped taking them, seeking out dietary interventions. And who did I find first? Dr. Eric Berg.
2018-20: Fasting, to Keto, to Carnivore
Dr. Berg and Rhonda Patrick said that fasting could help depression and anxiety, so I dove in. I began eating in a 12 hour window, which felt good. So I shortened it to 10 hours, to 8, to 6. Before I knew it, I was eating two meals a day, within a six hour window, following a ketogenic diet—beef, eggs, and spinach formed the bulk of my diet.
Before long I developed some terrible gas issues, which I now realize indicates some sort of overgrowth, indicative of a lowered metabolism. At the time I knew nothing of this, and I thought I felt good (stress hormones?), so I persisted. I moved from the CA Bay Area to Denver, Colorado, hoping social rejuvenation would recharge my life. In one of my first doctor visits in Denver, summer 2019, I registered a temperature of 94.5. How this didn’t get me to stop the keto, I’m not sure. On the contrary, I doubled down and decided to go carnivore in October 2019 for my gut issues.
At first, carnivore helped. My bloating went away. But after a month or so, things crept up. The inability to sleep. The inability to get an erection. The constant feeling of coldness. The complete lack of laughter. I went about 8 months without laughter or an erection. Many carnivore influencers said that if I felt bad, it was because I wasn’t eating enough fat. Before I knew it I was making special calls to Safeway to pick up extra beef fat trimmings, which I would fry up and eat on the side of my ribeyes. The fat helped temporarily, but then I would feel worse again. So I’d eat more fat. Again, I would feel worse. By May of 2020, I finally had had enough. Mid-afternoon, sitting in my parents’ home by myself at the kitchen table, I thought “wow, how do I feel this bad?” I remember hoping that a family member wouldn’t walk in, because of how irritable and anxious and miserable I felt. The very next meal, I added in a cup of frozen Costco berries with my ribeye, and it felt like a weight instantly lifted. Suddenly, I wanted to go play ping pong with my brother again. Suddenly, I felt love, rather than irritation, for my dad again.
Peat: June 2020-present
At first, I just ate berries with my meat. One cup. I noticed that I felt lighter, my digestion got better, music sounded better, and I began laughing more. Over time, I began to add more and more frozen fruit to my meals, and I began feeling even better. I bought a thermometer and found my average temp in the afternoon was 97.7. This was in June 2019. I also began tracking my sleeping heart rate, a bit alarmed to see it has dipping down into the mid 30s nearly every night.
Eventually, with persistence eating fruit along with my meat, I brought my temperature up to 98.6. However, my sleeping heart rate would still dip down to 45 or so every night.
Picked up the Peating. Felt better, then worse.
I got in touch with a local goat farmer in July 2020 and began drinking raw goats milk. I went down to the local river every day in July, getting tons of sun and relaxation. My nighttime pulse rate rose from ~45 to ~58, and everybody around me noticed the increase in energy. My parents, after several months of not having seen me, commented on my increased energy immediately. By early august 2020, I felt amazing. I was sold on my new dietary framework.
New school year, new problems
Then, in August 2020, this school year began. I stuck with my dietary framework, and very quickly I started to notice problems. Waking up with feelings of high adrenaline, foggy thinking, poor digestion again, bloating. These problems all came back with the school year, and they’ve stayed. Up until a few weeks ago, my nighttime heart rate still dipped down below 50 most nights (supplementing progesterone, pregnenolone, and DHEA help keep it above 55 now).
Nowadays
Nowadays, I am not well. Here are my big issues:
-Low temperatures: My heart rate doesn’t dip as low as it did in July, but my temperatures are definitely suboptimal. I usually only reach about 98.2 at the highest, after reaching 98.7 often during the summer.
-Low Libido: I never have morning wood, and often it takes a lot of stimulation to get an erection.
-Poor digestion: I’m often bloated, and my poops are not satisfying or frequent. Can’t remember the last time I had a good poop.
-Depression: I don’t enjoy much — I rarely laugh and often shy away from social situations. This is definitely not the case when I feel high energy, but the high energy state is extremely rare for me nowadays.
-Blood sugar swings, hot flashes, lots of fat gain the belly, man boobs, waking up with feelings of panic.
I’m not where I want to be. I’ve recently tried NDT (Tyromax), which worked very well for two days but then led to a stress reaction with very high pulse and low temps. When I emailed Dr. Peat about this he said that pregnenolone and progesterone and DHEA would prevent the temperature drop, so I’m currently supplementing those three to see if I can get my hormones regulated.
I think the stress from my job makes things much worse, but at the same time, when I’m well energized, I can engage with my students and enjoy my job. I tried T3 a few months ago and it worked for a few days, before my nighttime pulse started getting low and my temps lowered too. Perhaps I’ll try T3 again, but at this point I’m lost.
I’m squeezing my own oranges because every other orange juice wrecks my gut, and I can’t tolerate any other fruits besides red grapes, but even then I’m not sure if they mess up my gut. Gelatin helps my mind, but soon enough it starts to give me endotoxins symptoms.
My roommates see me as the quirky, aloof, silly guy who eats too much fruit, milk, and meat. I see myself as an isolated and depressed hypothyroid person who desperately wants to feel better. And I will solve my problems. I just wanted to get this down so one day I can look back to the beginning of this log and think, “Damn, look where you were, and look where you are now. You did it.”
-Tyler
Sadly it’s not just the writing that’s taken a hit. Everyday of my life I feel like I’m operating at 65% of my total potential, every social interaction as a reminder that my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders. I know many on this forum can relate to this chronic sub-par state. I wake up with high adrenaline most days, I have minimal libido, I’ve developed quite a bit of belly fat in addition to my man boobs, I haven’t had a day without stomach problems in months, and my brain sits in a fog all day long.
But I’m never giving up. I’m going to heal myself. I’m going to improve my 65% subjective rating, not stopping until I’m at 90% at a minimum.
How did I get like this?
It started at 16. A chubby high schooler who wanted to look like Robert Plant, I decided I was going to lose weight no matter what it took. So I stopped eating, and I hit the stair master. Everyday. I would wake up, eat a 100 calorie yoplait light yogurt, and go to thw gym, where I would pour buckets of sweat for about an hour, burning hundreds and hundreds of calories. I did this for about 7 months, and I succeeded in losing weight. 220 to 145 pounds. At this low weight, I was thin. But I also temporarily blacked out whenever I stood up, I lost the attraction to any girl, I became irritable, stopped appreciating physical touch, and I became a socially awkward pushover.
It was at this point, 17, that I developed bad constipation that no doctor could solve. I would poop once a week, pebbles. My TSH had reached 2.3, quite high for a high schooler. Still, I never suspected that I might have damaged my metabolism because I didn’t know anything about physiology.
In college, I improved a bit unintentionally. I began eating more, but also partied a lot, drinking lots of alcohol and smoking lots of weed. My stomach remained a problem, but I managed it all right. I also remained a big pushover, I remained spacey and aloof, and I remained awkward, lacking confidence. The next big turning point came when I began my teaching career.
2015: Teaching and stress
At 25 I began my career teaching high school English. Very quickly I became depressed due to the stress level. An non-confrontational person, I wasn’t prepared to manage 120 high schoolers throughout the day. But, hearing that “the first few years are always the hardest,” I stuck with it. I tried antidepressants for a few months my second year, but I quickly felt like I had lost my soul so I stopped taking them, seeking out dietary interventions. And who did I find first? Dr. Eric Berg.
2018-20: Fasting, to Keto, to Carnivore
Dr. Berg and Rhonda Patrick said that fasting could help depression and anxiety, so I dove in. I began eating in a 12 hour window, which felt good. So I shortened it to 10 hours, to 8, to 6. Before I knew it, I was eating two meals a day, within a six hour window, following a ketogenic diet—beef, eggs, and spinach formed the bulk of my diet.
Before long I developed some terrible gas issues, which I now realize indicates some sort of overgrowth, indicative of a lowered metabolism. At the time I knew nothing of this, and I thought I felt good (stress hormones?), so I persisted. I moved from the CA Bay Area to Denver, Colorado, hoping social rejuvenation would recharge my life. In one of my first doctor visits in Denver, summer 2019, I registered a temperature of 94.5. How this didn’t get me to stop the keto, I’m not sure. On the contrary, I doubled down and decided to go carnivore in October 2019 for my gut issues.
At first, carnivore helped. My bloating went away. But after a month or so, things crept up. The inability to sleep. The inability to get an erection. The constant feeling of coldness. The complete lack of laughter. I went about 8 months without laughter or an erection. Many carnivore influencers said that if I felt bad, it was because I wasn’t eating enough fat. Before I knew it I was making special calls to Safeway to pick up extra beef fat trimmings, which I would fry up and eat on the side of my ribeyes. The fat helped temporarily, but then I would feel worse again. So I’d eat more fat. Again, I would feel worse. By May of 2020, I finally had had enough. Mid-afternoon, sitting in my parents’ home by myself at the kitchen table, I thought “wow, how do I feel this bad?” I remember hoping that a family member wouldn’t walk in, because of how irritable and anxious and miserable I felt. The very next meal, I added in a cup of frozen Costco berries with my ribeye, and it felt like a weight instantly lifted. Suddenly, I wanted to go play ping pong with my brother again. Suddenly, I felt love, rather than irritation, for my dad again.
Peat: June 2020-present
At first, I just ate berries with my meat. One cup. I noticed that I felt lighter, my digestion got better, music sounded better, and I began laughing more. Over time, I began to add more and more frozen fruit to my meals, and I began feeling even better. I bought a thermometer and found my average temp in the afternoon was 97.7. This was in June 2019. I also began tracking my sleeping heart rate, a bit alarmed to see it has dipping down into the mid 30s nearly every night.
Eventually, with persistence eating fruit along with my meat, I brought my temperature up to 98.6. However, my sleeping heart rate would still dip down to 45 or so every night.
Picked up the Peating. Felt better, then worse.
I got in touch with a local goat farmer in July 2020 and began drinking raw goats milk. I went down to the local river every day in July, getting tons of sun and relaxation. My nighttime pulse rate rose from ~45 to ~58, and everybody around me noticed the increase in energy. My parents, after several months of not having seen me, commented on my increased energy immediately. By early august 2020, I felt amazing. I was sold on my new dietary framework.
New school year, new problems
Then, in August 2020, this school year began. I stuck with my dietary framework, and very quickly I started to notice problems. Waking up with feelings of high adrenaline, foggy thinking, poor digestion again, bloating. These problems all came back with the school year, and they’ve stayed. Up until a few weeks ago, my nighttime heart rate still dipped down below 50 most nights (supplementing progesterone, pregnenolone, and DHEA help keep it above 55 now).
Nowadays
Nowadays, I am not well. Here are my big issues:
-Low temperatures: My heart rate doesn’t dip as low as it did in July, but my temperatures are definitely suboptimal. I usually only reach about 98.2 at the highest, after reaching 98.7 often during the summer.
-Low Libido: I never have morning wood, and often it takes a lot of stimulation to get an erection.
-Poor digestion: I’m often bloated, and my poops are not satisfying or frequent. Can’t remember the last time I had a good poop.
-Depression: I don’t enjoy much — I rarely laugh and often shy away from social situations. This is definitely not the case when I feel high energy, but the high energy state is extremely rare for me nowadays.
-Blood sugar swings, hot flashes, lots of fat gain the belly, man boobs, waking up with feelings of panic.
I’m not where I want to be. I’ve recently tried NDT (Tyromax), which worked very well for two days but then led to a stress reaction with very high pulse and low temps. When I emailed Dr. Peat about this he said that pregnenolone and progesterone and DHEA would prevent the temperature drop, so I’m currently supplementing those three to see if I can get my hormones regulated.
I think the stress from my job makes things much worse, but at the same time, when I’m well energized, I can engage with my students and enjoy my job. I tried T3 a few months ago and it worked for a few days, before my nighttime pulse started getting low and my temps lowered too. Perhaps I’ll try T3 again, but at this point I’m lost.
I’m squeezing my own oranges because every other orange juice wrecks my gut, and I can’t tolerate any other fruits besides red grapes, but even then I’m not sure if they mess up my gut. Gelatin helps my mind, but soon enough it starts to give me endotoxins symptoms.
My roommates see me as the quirky, aloof, silly guy who eats too much fruit, milk, and meat. I see myself as an isolated and depressed hypothyroid person who desperately wants to feel better. And I will solve my problems. I just wanted to get this down so one day I can look back to the beginning of this log and think, “Damn, look where you were, and look where you are now. You did it.”
-Tyler