Desperately Need Help

[Marie2000]

Hi peaterians,
Making it short, I'm 18 years old taking a year off "life" to regain it back. since I do not have much money and the one saved would be destined to buying pestering supplements I cannot permit myself to call Ray peat. Therefore I write this thread and hope someone would luckily read and share insights.

So, I come from a past of self destruction and great stress which believe have depleted my reserves of everything and have thus make wonders to my thyroid and my life as a consequence. with this I do not referred to drugs but to bulimia/calorie restricting (since the age of 10 aprox), mentally self harming and suppression of my self growth,school bullying and social anxiety since the age of 16. (Abused ibuprofen for a year)

Fortunately from this same age till now, after changing country and sort of passing through a one year isolation at home (with my grandparents since I moved to their house in a new country, sadly away from my parents and sister), I embarqued myself in a reverting "damage process" of auto emotional and physical healing.

As many people who seek a health and life change through diet, commenced by going vegan then eventually paleo, frutarian and God knows what else supplementing with interminable lists of crap loaded everything feeling superb and convinced till death this was the right track. Of course very unrighteous and doing other thing than more harm to myself.

The thing is that my actual state of health is not the best and I am determined to change this. I have pcos (the thin type one), insulin resistance, hypoglycemia, social anxiety, constant feeling of everyone being judgin me and just not and overall feeling of peace and blend with the people around me. I have big changes of humor, feel sad and just want to be alone at my house all the time at peace away from the stress that produces to be on. But again I want to change this and change the mental patrons that make me response like to social situations in such ways producing cortisol etc.

For three months I took ibuprofen everyday, but stopped taking it since my face dramatically changed and was starting to look old and my body which had been reasonably toned had turned saggy. I made the connection that it could had been caused by the IB and stopped taking it. Then as well went vegan and this didn't help reverting the damage. Huge intake of grains and legumes causing more acne and when stopped being vegan extreme hypoglycemia. With 17 people would tell me I look 24 lol which made me more strictted with supplements and food which caused me hypoglycemia (for example changed sugar for sorbitol which would irritate my gut etc).

Since I think I have finally find the "way" after trial and error (infinite trial and error, tyred much), I am in need of some help and guidelines as what to eat and what supplements to take and in what doses.
I am aware I am 100% hypo and that my liver and gut must not be at is best. I am really extreme,y tyred of going to the doctor and being prescribed racoutane and the pill and being told I am crazy for questioning them and neglecting to take their recommendations.

I would really appreciate some help, some feedback, some words from somebody that follows peat. I definitely need support and help!!

I await for your responses and thank you hugely in advance.

 

[DaveFoster]

Fat free or 1% milk, orange juice (concentrate), potatoes, butter, coconut oil, salt; don't consume too many liquids. Aspirin and niacinamide are some of the safest supplements.

Aspirin 81 mg/day up to 900 mg/day
Niacinamide 50 mg x3/day up to 1 gram x3/day

 

[Noel Gallagher]

Sorry I cannot provide more help, but I will do my best.

Pick up just like 5-7 supplements, that should be easy to manage and help you get on the right track.

Aspirin
Pregnenolone
Niacinamide
Taurine
B complex
Vitamins A D K

Don't go overboard, but these along with some coffee and peaty foods like milk and eggs, for example, should get you on the right track. I wouldn't order any cypro, thyroid meds, etc. remember to err on the side of caution and these supps will hopefully get your liver in better shape and your estrogen, serotonin, prolactin, etc. down. If you keep it to these few supps you can easily identify what is helping you. These will all help with social anxiety and depression. Best of luck.

 

[Noel Gallagher]

Fat free or 1% milk, orange juice (concentrate), potatoes, butter, coconut oil, salt; don't consume too many liquids. Aspirin and niacinamide are some of the safest supplements.

Aspirin 81 mg/day up to 900 mg/day
Niacinamide 50 mg x3/day up to 1 gram x3/day

+1

Agree with Dave

 

[jaguar43]

Sorry to hear about your troubles.

My recommendation is to take things slow. There is a lot of information here and on Ray Peat's website, so it can feel overwhelming. I would look into Progesterone (protest-e) ? It should clear up your PCOS and I think it should help with insulin resistance.

 

[Matt1951]

Try going absolutely 100% gluten free for two months.
Have some meat, fish or poultry every day.
Occasionally eat some liver, and eat some eggs.
Eat fruit, and/or drink orange juice, every day.
Don't avoid sugar, have a cola once in a while.
Eat a lot for a while, more than you have been, and add in some weight training three times a week.
Walk every day.
Get sunshine when possible.

 

[mayweatherking]

try reading danny roddy hair like a fox. it is free and he gives a basic building blocks of the diet. i know you are a female so it does't pertain to you, but i think his book really covers everything in general and it would really be good for anyone to read it, not just people losing hair.

 

[Tarmander]

I feel for you OP. Youreatopia is a great place to go for recovering from an eating disorder: Home

There are people on there who have actually truly recovered from the mental aspects of an eating disorder and live happy lives. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

A tough part of your scenario is that there are usually two aspects at war within you that must be resolved. On one hand, skinny and "pretty" girls are often rewarded with attention and support from men and society around you. On the other hand, to get that support you must sabotage your health. I have known lots of women who were skinny and what society would call desirable, yet they are basket cases, emotionally distraught, and lacking in personality from a lack of nutrition.

You may find as you get healthier, stronger, and more independent that you get less attention, and people talk about how you "let yourself go." They do not understand the emotional hell you were in to look the way you did. This can be so brutal, and is something I have experienced. You feel better and better, can do more and are happier, yet at the same time you look "worse."

If you were asking my advice, a lot of the people in this thread have given you good tips, I would check into them, but I would just eat for a solid block of time. I would do whatever your body wants and just eat and eat and eat. Don't focus on the details, but focus on reestablishing and trusting your cravings.

Good luck, I will send well wishes your way.

 

[Dayman]

I would suggest Kate Deering's book. It provides a general run down of things to eat and why. The same suggestions can be found on this site but it is nice to have it in a book.
Then if you wanted more detail reading Ray Peat's website.

 

[Xisca]

Physiologically, wanting to eat too much or too little has to do with a loss of connexion with your inner needs when a young child. For example having to take care more of others needs than your owns, for your own sake. It can happen when parents need support and the child feels that "asking what is needed" is a lot for the parent(s). It is not about having bad parents at all, I precise! It has to do with shutting down needs, for a better survival.
So, a normal eating just triggers an activation of the nervous system, by reminding past events at a physiological level.

Your consciousness is great, and you can see that it is not enough to change the pattern. The day we want to change something in our life, we start to notice how change is not easy!

Try to list all the good things that are on your side, like this consciousness and WILL to do something and recover. Concentrate on this. Try to find the bare minimum you need for a start and stick to it.

I recommend you to also work with the help of your own imagination. Creative meditation works like this. You are as everybody the result of the far away big bang, and you are pure life coming from this and thanks to this. Whatever your beliefs are, they are good if they help you have inner joy, I mean the one that does rely on external events. When everything looks like cloud, just imagine that this inner life is like the sun you do not see. In cloudy days, the sun can only be imagined, and it is truly there.

I can also recommend you to use laugh. Watch only this sort of films, or comics. Whatever you do not like in yourself, make it ridicule, try what you can to reach the result of laughing at your behaviour (I want to say: more about what you do than what you are, as you are just a spark of life, well no matter what we are, the important is to believe in something that will be a "string" and strong anchor).

There is science behind what I tell you in my simple english as this is not my language, and laughing make your body go to relax, by parasymtic state. You will know also that your body is less activated and go to relaxation when you sigh, yawn with more breath out than breath in, feel gargles in your guts or burp. This is all physiological.

If you reach some emotional trembling, they are sympathic discharges, so let it happen without fear, so that the discharge can succeed. Sustain it by concentrating on the fact that you have this inner sun behind the clouds, inside you.

The slow shallow breathing of the Buteyko method is very helpful with any emotional issue, and health issues. Peat talks about this too, about bag breathing. Better co2 will help the use of oxygen in the cell respiration. In a nutshell, this is a moment of "meditating" for reaching a very slight air hunger. CO2 raises, and o2 is used better. It clears the mind and reduces pains. I get rid of headaches in 1 mn now with it. And have less and less.

Others will tell you better about diet and supplements, hope this can help as an addition.

 

[lindsay]

Hi Carla,

I'm very very sorry to hear about all you have been and are going through. Teenage years are very difficult.

I dealt with anorexia and bulimia from age 14 until about age 31, so I understand the health toll it takes. Feel free to ask if you have any questions. The two things that have helped me most are thyroid and progesterone. And allowing sugar and good protein to come back into my life :) These things allowed me to even get to the point where I could stop the disordered eating patterns - though it's not easy. And time. It takes time to heal. Sometimes more than we like, but I'm happy you are thinking of letting your body heal.

Best Wishes to you!

 

[Marie2000]

Hi and thank you for all your replies. Im grateful that I had this sort of conciouss awakening last year after a dark period before my last school exams which included doing yoga, just relaxing and compleately ignoring any stresses and stimulation which could induce me to give a dam for the final and deadly and 12/12/12 exams that came ahead.

I stopped being bulimic at the age of 16 and by the time thought: yeah, all things would go uphill from here. But guess what... my mind and my body just got really really messed up and nutty, more than uphill kinda free cliff jumping, that sort of downhill.

I have been reading Peat´s articles on how our culture affects our nervous system and look back to the culture and society I grew up in and..Not the best for a girl´nervous system (not the best for anyone as an overall), but yeah just imagine how woman and wifes must be in Argentina, all sweet and loving angels ahah.

Mistake number one: getting in the model industry, not only this, but THE ARGENTINIAN meat selling fashion industry, a slaughter house if we insist on precision (peaters seem to like it, no bull****, straight and clear). Oh I should also mention that Argentina is one of the countires with most psychologysts per square meter. A good detail to have in mind if you have gone bananas after all the years of aspartame sugar free coke and 0,9879 calories per week :). Although it is so hard to sketch a meeting with one they seem to be so demanded... I wonder why.. Guess Ill need to become a psych and set up a consultancy over there.. All the sups I would be able to buy jeez $$$$

Anyways, with out going too out of topic, I am grateful for having get me ex skinny **** out of such toxic environment. I sometimes believe it was scaping and a lost opportunity to grow and cultivate my resiliance. Although, I must say such was a lost and shortcut to hell battle, which I am glad to have withdrawned from since I am even scared of thinking to what extremes I would have got myself into if continued driving this highwelll to hell,ac dcccc **** yea.

As regarding to my pcos I am the thin type one which means that I do not present the common pcos female pattern: masculine hair distributtion, severe acne, overweight. and I thank the world a lot for this, imagine being ``fat´´ in Argentina, God I would be dead by now from all the things I would have tried to get ``skiny and hence beautiful´´. Being overweight and woman over there is worst than the earthquake that just killed 200 people in Ecuador a couple days ago. Yeah to that extreme.

Again all this ***t did not make sense to me. I felt soemthing was wrong with the people here. I felt as if common sense was the uncommon sense to have and it seemed to me as if all these people around were this absorbed by unhealthy and imginary if not shallow and destructive concepts of beauty of coolness of what is men or what is women, of what is to be happy, of how you achieve that by being rich and hot. I know this sounds pretty much like any onther place but just imagine L.A, all the anorexia and diversity shaming promoting accounts of insta and all the judges from next top model all this with the last phrase of mine and maginifyed by infinite, thats what Buenos Aire society is like; freaks full of ***t of paranoical and ego feeding deep ***t topped up with insecurity feeling and a huge inferiority complex towards Europe and Us which vomit toxic acid when they speak. (Note I was born in Norway and only my dad is Argentinian, yes I sadly do have a bond to such filthy society)


Anyways I could not be any happier to have found this forum. I feel as if there were a common will to help from this community, a no judgement due to a common suffering and hence empathy, that lives in all of the members.
The desire of healing in this forum is so great, it is a true desire of healing. What I mean with this, is it is not a selfish/; unrealistic/shallow desire to get better. It is one that is so greatly prefectionised, by so many trial an error and layers of experience, that is deep and mature; a true desire of healing is the awakening, the realization that to heal onself, one must heal not only the body but the mind and every other part of our existance.

I have been peating´´ for a mont now and implementing all of your advices. I have been taking full fat milk though and do get bloating which I am starting to think my gut turns it directly into serotonin (unable to digest the triptophan?

other observations:

I bought taurine and got very bloated (reatining a lot of water), constipated and this intense migraines which I had never experienced before.
I eat calamari as well the second day on taurine and got very sick on it.
I as well eat coffe this day and left me a metallic taste in mouth, as well as making me look old and wrinkled after drinking it. I think this could be due to free copper running in my blood? read online that taurine supplementation could influence copper releasing but this were not peat writings just the typical brainwashed and marketing sites. Maybe the quality was not good? it said pure but you never know...

These last two days I have been taking estroban and energin from haidut.

The first one made me increase temps inmedetely after, but it made me also return to some previous hair patterns like receiding lines in swuare shape and not round (indicating high testosterone), I connected this to a possible lack of progesterone and low estrogen (at least I know the estrogen is low, yeii)

Another thing on estroban has been a hyperglycemia. For example, before taking estroban I would take sugary milk and would not experience inmediate hyperglycemia. But this has chnged since these last two days. Again maybe due to increase testosterone and lack of progesterone.

In regards to energin I feel it was a bit harsh on my stomach maybe due to the biotin. I was on biotin prior to peating and it never felt good on my stomach. I also suspect I might have some mucose damage and leaky gut due to all the years of bulimia and ibuprofen abuse.

I also suspect I might be defficient in sodium, since after large liquid ingestions I get very cold, indicating electrolite unbalance?

And my last concern is regarding progesterone supplementation; I read issues on the goiter and thyroid enlargement and even convertign the progesterone into estrogen in hypothyroid females. My breasts have increase a cup only one day on progesterone but I dont feel bloated. My hair pattern hasnt chnaged though so I do not know weather I should do tyromax and estroban first and then increasingly add the progesterone,or if i should do the progesterone and tyromax and then add the estroban???
god im so confsed and have so many questions, I just wished I could study physiology or biochemistry to understand what exaclty is going on in me.

We learn so many useless crap in school and not such basic things as how to eat, and basic knowledge about the functioning and physiology of ourselves.

Anyways thank you so much I would understand if nobody answers this since it is sort of a bible and not even an interresting one hahah anyway If you have come this far, oh men, you are a good soul and you thy be rewarded with free peat aproved supplements or a super metabolism XD

 

[Blossom]

I have been peating´´ for a mont now and implementing all of your advices. I have been taking full fat milk though and do get bloating which I am starting to think my gut turns it directly into serotonin (unable to digest the triptophan?

It's not uncommon to have trouble digesting the lactose in milk when the metabolism is suppressed from hypothyroidism or a history of under eating. You could either gradually increase your milk consumption by having 1/4 cup of milk with meals or buy a special lactose free milk that has the lactase enzyme that pre-digests the lactose for you. I really like the lactose free milk because I do not have to cut back on milk if I drink that type. I'm recovering from the ARFID type eating disorder with a history of low BMI so I try to stay out of an overly restrictive eating pattern.

I think the youreatopia site that @Tarmander mentioned has some helpful information about pcos specific to people recovering from restrictive eating disorders that is probably worth reading. The site owner presents evidence that the ovaries can atrophy from prolonged under eating and this is often misdiagnosed as pcos but reverses with refeeding. I honestly do not think I could have reached remission without the information there on the psychological aspects of recovery. Many of us here have been able to repair the damage and find healing through implementing Peat's research to help heal the physical impacts of starvation. Best of luck to you @Carla. If I can be of any help feel free to message me.

 

[tara]

Welcome Carla,

I stopped being bulimic at the age of 16

Congratulations. :)

I feel for you OP. Youreatopia is a great place to go for recovering from an eating disorder: Home

+1
I'd recommend reading Olwyn's article about stages of recovery, if you haven't already. Phases of Recovery From A Restrictive Eating Disorder
She also discusses PCOS in one of her articles.

, but I would just eat for a solid block of time. I would do whatever your body wants and just eat and eat and eat. Don't focus on the details, but focus on reestablishing and trusting your cravings.

+1
I think it is probably worth keeping PUFA oil intake low (eg seed oils) - I'm taking Peat's guidance on this, not Olwyn's - but otherwise just assume eating is bet
Have you checked roughly how much (calories) you are eating each day? Gwyneth at youreatopia says 3000 is normal for young women your age. I was shocked when I came across that - it sure wasn't what I'd learned when I was that age.

I have been peating´´ for a mont now and implementing all of your advices. I have been taking full fat milk though and do get bloating which I am starting to think my gut turns it directly into serotonin (unable to digest the triptophan?

Can you say a bit more about what you mean by 'peating'? There are many variants here, and lots of contradictory advice.
What are you eating? It can take the digestive system a while to adapt to significant changes in diet. For people who have been undernourished, it is common for digestive enzymes to be a bit low initially. Hopefully this will improve with a bit of time and good nourishment.
Peat usually recommends eating 80-100g protein for people who are hypothyroid (this is of the order of half a kilo of cheese, meat, eggs, etc.).
He tends to favour milk, cheese, gelatinous meats (esp ruminant like beef, lamb), non-oily fish from time to time, weekly oysters for zinc, liver for vit-A and many minerals, eggs.

I bought taurine and got very bloated (reatining a lot of water), constipated and this intense migraines which I had never experienced before.

How much taurine did you take? A few others have also had trouble if they took large doses.

In regards to energin I feel it was a bit harsh on my stomach maybe due to the biotin.

You can rub the energin on your skin instead of eating it.

I also suspect I might be defficient in sodium, since after large liquid ingestions I get very cold, indicating electrolite unbalance?

I would avoid large ingestions of liquid at one time. Maybe no more than 1 cup at a time, perhaps less. Only drink if thirsty. Possibly also avoid drinking very cold liquids.
Peat usually recommends salting to taste.

Be aware that if you take supplements that increase your cells ability to turn food into energy, you will likely need more food. Quite a few people here have had trouble with blood sugar drops with supplements. I think it's often useful to get a good nutritional basis in place before getting too heavily into supplements.

Are your thoughts about insulin resistance and hypoglycemia based on measurements or intuition?

Do you have any test results of thyroid hormones? Have you had a go at measuring body temps and resting heart rate? These last two can give you a way to watch how your general metabolism is going yourself.

Finally, I don't know how far you have come from your undernourished state, but if you are still severely undernourished, there are some hazards with refeeding that can make drs supervision wise. If you have or can find a dr who is familiar with recovery from restrictive eating, and knows your history with this, that could be a useful safety backstop. If electrolytes get badly messed up it can need urgent treatment.

The odds are you can get much improvement.
Take care.