SuperStressed
Member
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2019
- Messages
- 275
I need somewhere to log my thoughts and experiments and I thought I may as well tell my story publicly and perhaps get different point of views about how to approach this problem. The title says suicidal because I constantly think that it could be the only way out of this hell. I dont want to die, I want to recover but is it even possible?
Growing up I was obviously hypothyroid, I had no energy, not much enjoyment doing things, couldnt sleep or get up, moody (but not depressed), would urinate a lot and had social anxiety. These things made my childhood bad but it was hell of a lot better than what was to come.
Only when I was 19 did I start to make a hormonal connection to how I had always felt. If I knew what I know now at 27 thanks to Peat and this community, I would have been able to recover fully with relative ease.
I sadly fell for the thyroid yahoo groups and anti-aging bull****. Let me tell you, those Yahoo groups are a cult- Any symptoms you have simply require more oral steroids or thyroid hormone and they dont like people questioning this, at least not back in 2012.
I did one of those saliva cortisol tests which showed low cortisol in the morning and high at night so i tried Hydrocortisone and felt an immediate difference, it was incredible actually. Brain fog down, energy up, mood up. Then I started to add in insane amounts of T3 as per the groups instructions and got really confused about it all so I decided I would fly to Belgium and see a 'famous' anti-aging doctor and get this stuff prescribed.
To cut a long story short, he put me on methylprednisolone (Medrol) and it totally changed my world in the worst way imaginable. Before this, I was always mentally stable, never suffered from depression and always had a sense of well being and a mindset of "my health is bad but ill figure it out eventually"
Medrol had me crying constantly for no reason, hyper emotional, pacing back and forth like a stereotypical 'mental patient' from TV, I couldnt stay still. I would would wake up after a couple of hours sleep, leave the house and just pace around my local town and city all day in terror, I didnt know what the **** I was experiencing yet I stayed on the steroids because in this crazy mental health nightmare that I was dragged into it somehow made sense, the anxiety and stress was so intense that I thought coming off the medrol meant I couldnt get better. To be honest with you, it doesnt make much sense but when you're trapped in terror 24/7 nothing does.
After about 8 months to a year my Mother finally contacted mental health services and they told me that the steroids were causing this. I weaned off the steroids. After weaning off the steroids I didnt go back to my old self and was still more or less stuck in the same state, it took about a year to calm down just slightly. I resisted all drugs that were offered at this time as I was scared to death of drugs after this had happened to me and I didnt trust doctors.
6-7 years later after I first took medrol, here I am thinking that recovery isnt actually possible.
Growing up I was obviously hypothyroid, I had no energy, not much enjoyment doing things, couldnt sleep or get up, moody (but not depressed), would urinate a lot and had social anxiety. These things made my childhood bad but it was hell of a lot better than what was to come.
Only when I was 19 did I start to make a hormonal connection to how I had always felt. If I knew what I know now at 27 thanks to Peat and this community, I would have been able to recover fully with relative ease.
I sadly fell for the thyroid yahoo groups and anti-aging bull****. Let me tell you, those Yahoo groups are a cult- Any symptoms you have simply require more oral steroids or thyroid hormone and they dont like people questioning this, at least not back in 2012.
I did one of those saliva cortisol tests which showed low cortisol in the morning and high at night so i tried Hydrocortisone and felt an immediate difference, it was incredible actually. Brain fog down, energy up, mood up. Then I started to add in insane amounts of T3 as per the groups instructions and got really confused about it all so I decided I would fly to Belgium and see a 'famous' anti-aging doctor and get this stuff prescribed.
To cut a long story short, he put me on methylprednisolone (Medrol) and it totally changed my world in the worst way imaginable. Before this, I was always mentally stable, never suffered from depression and always had a sense of well being and a mindset of "my health is bad but ill figure it out eventually"
Medrol had me crying constantly for no reason, hyper emotional, pacing back and forth like a stereotypical 'mental patient' from TV, I couldnt stay still. I would would wake up after a couple of hours sleep, leave the house and just pace around my local town and city all day in terror, I didnt know what the **** I was experiencing yet I stayed on the steroids because in this crazy mental health nightmare that I was dragged into it somehow made sense, the anxiety and stress was so intense that I thought coming off the medrol meant I couldnt get better. To be honest with you, it doesnt make much sense but when you're trapped in terror 24/7 nothing does.
After about 8 months to a year my Mother finally contacted mental health services and they told me that the steroids were causing this. I weaned off the steroids. After weaning off the steroids I didnt go back to my old self and was still more or less stuck in the same state, it took about a year to calm down just slightly. I resisted all drugs that were offered at this time as I was scared to death of drugs after this had happened to me and I didnt trust doctors.
6-7 years later after I first took medrol, here I am thinking that recovery isnt actually possible.
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