Caregiver Fatigue

[kaybb]

Thanks again to all.

I've been looking at my options - and reactions - and for now my main strategy is going to be unilateral withdrawal.

I hate putting up a front, but rather than trigger (and reinforce) defensive reflexes in said family members by always telling the truth (tough love), I'll just change the subject and/or find a funny way out of a situation/comment (the time I'm around).

It's like re-watching a movie, knowing you can't change the script. It's heart-wrenching to see that Intervention-style approaches don't work, and that I have to let said family members hit rock bottom and/or wait until they ask for help. It hurts to see once-fighters "medicate" themselves with tv/distractions rather than going through a taxing process of self-therapy. But, hey, I can't allow myself to be sucked in that whirlpool of codependence (the airplane mask safety drill comes to mind).

My utmost respect to professional caregivers. Supermen/women among us.

Great thoughts. I am in process of cleaning out my mother and father in-laws home of 60+ years. Mother died 6 years ago at 80 and Father had to move into assisted living after stroke, at 92. They were organized hoarders and their diet was nothing close to Peat except Pepsi. Can't imagine telling either of them to change anything! But they live and living good lives. It will take weeks to clean out the house and Father is happy we are doing it. And before I started Peating and some other treatments I wouldn't have been able to do this at all. One thing on them not being fighters anymore ....I don't know their age but old people wear out. It's just the way it is ...they lose energy and drive. We may think Peat will fix it but I have seen many relatives live long good lives, upper 80's + and tire out 2 to 5 years before passing, without any health food interest, so to speak . I have gone through stages with them wanting to help with nutrition etc...and getting homes cleaned up and certain times. They just don't want to. So now we are doing it for them and it is going fine. (My mom also passed 4 months ago so working on her home also). My Dad is very coke ratify though so lucky there.
I wish you the best ! It is a difficult challenge.

 

[Xisca]

waoh, I am trying something like this for my father, because he surely has issue with sugar and adrenaline, and he is close to the wheelchair because he has lost his muscles. And he says doctors do not find anything.... But he does not believe me to stop gluten, because when he tried, it did not work, of course as this is not enough in his case.
Anyway, I also struggle with the sadness and des-empowerment....

 

[Xisca]

Most cargivers are persons who know very well how to identify others' needs... because they had to, in the past, let's say in infancy.
So one good thing is to put oneself into the position of guessing our own needs instead of others.... and this is going to trigger our own lack of tunning in the past, and this will show up at the felt sense level, that we are not used to be aware of, and then the second level will be triggered, the emotion level, and this will lead to thinking about it. The trekking route to go to the felt sense is right, but not always easy, because it activates deeply.

 

[PeatThemAll]

waoh, I am trying something like this for my father, because he surely has issue with sugar and adrenaline, and he is close to the wheelchair because he has lost his muscles. And he says doctors do not find anything.... But he does not believe me to stop gluten, because when he tried, it did not work, of course as this is not enough in his case.

I started being afraid of middle-aged sarcopenia (losing of muscle mass) for good after I did intermittent fasting on-and-off for around a year and could not make gains (muscular) after that period.

What helped:

1) Protein serving of 25-30 grams. I saw a thread here regarding this, and there's also a Layne Norton video on YouTube (time-pressed for now, but I'll try to find it). In short, people who took servings of protein in the 25+ range managed to increase their lean body mass (LBM), even though there were not taking in more protein (overall) in a day that the others in the group. Something to do with a Leucine threshhold sending a signal to the body that there's enough building blocks to then increase LBM. For older people, 30 grams might be too much to stomach, but the best is to still consider a higher range portion.

2) Creatine. I knew it worked, but was worried about losing all the gains it can provide if/when I would stop it. In my experience, I did a one month supplementation (loading for 1-2 weeks, then maintenance dose for 2 weeks, then stopped) and to my surprised (but combined to #1 above), the extra muscle seems to have stayed.

3) Calories. CICO (Calories In Calories Out) still rules. There were times like I felt like I was heading for diabetic problems when I started to eat by instinct and "carb bingeing" (eating many times more carbs than I used to). I had blood test results recently and all is good. In the end, it looks like the carb binge was just a signal to take in enough calories so that the body could reconstruct itself (results not always visible). Adding #1 and #2 was definitely a trigger for the carb binge, but it helped increase/maintain LBM. Never underestimate how many calories you might need to recover or move to the next (metabolic) level.

 

[haidut]

Is caregiving a you-have-it-or-you-don't thing? And more Peat-related, have you encountered supplements/protocols to restore (caregiver and elderly) resiliency (mental, first and foremost).

I'm temporarily living with my parents (now retired) and tried - unsuccessfully - to clear up years of hoarding. Not hoarding at the tv-show scale level, but OHIO (Only Handle It Once) isn't part of their habits. To make matters worse, showing them how better organization would simplify their lives (and save time/energy) triggered the opposite effect (resistance/self-reinforcing rationalizations), so I stopped trying/hoping they will change. Now I'm just trying to make them aware of safety hazards.

This being said, in the process I've noticed signs of senility appearing in them and other family members. The saddening part is feeling powerless in front of what looks like a downhill slope / self-fulfilling prophecy. Said family members are OK with forgetting things, lowering their standards, and running out of money, rather than changing their priorities (stuff/budget).

Maybe it's the decades of PUFA damage showing their nasty side. I'm the only Peat-er around here, and won't discuss it because of not wanting to trigger reinforcement of parents/family existing beliefs (basically repeating whatever the media says).

So, other than becoming a living example that Peating is better, I don' t think I can reach them (close family) in their "bubble". I'm now experiencing caregiver fatigue, and would like to know how some of you managed the transition (restoring resiliency) in yourself (and hopefully others). TIA.

My elderly grandmothers (both almost 90) perk up noticeably after 2-3 drops methylene blue. One of them has been taking vitamin K due to fractured hip. Both of them are no longer in need of their "senility" medication and are actually quite pleasant to be around. Just a few months ago they would just sit there and mindlessly repeat the same thing over and over again and keep calling people the wrong names. Not to mention being extremely hostile to anything that doesn't go their way. I think everybody needs to see this and the sudden change improved brain energetics brings about to understand how important (brain) metabolism is for mood, learning/flexibility, and everything else that makes a piece of meat human.

 

[haidut]

The need to "fix/cure/help" others is also very common in personality disordered individuals, stemming from childhood emotional abuse, not necessarily metabolism based. (But i would hazard most disordered persons have stress/hormonal/metabolism issues)

It is often found in those in the "caring " professions.

The person in need of "fixing/curing/helping" is of course the person themselves, but theyre still in denial and "projecting it onto others". Dont i know.

This is as good a summary. (Sorry for taking this thread off topic, but i think a more psychological angle can be educational)..

Relationships and The Need to Fix Others: Are You A Fixer? - Relationship Problems ?EUR" Tools to Build and Maintain a Healthy Marriage

You have to be carful not to lump all desire to help with pathology. Yes, there is solid evidence that consistently/actively seeking for ways and opportunities to "help" is related to some sort of emotional disturbance, usually parental neglect in childhood (as you mentioned). But being willing to help when approached is actually the exact opposite. As I posted in another thread, egalitarian beliefs require good metabolism and egalitarian beliefs are usually required for empathy and desire to help. So, just like the symptoms of both low and high blood sugar being similar, these two opposites of the mental (metabolic) health range can have similar "symptoms" and be difficult to distinguish.
But to your point about seeking ways to help being tied to pathology - if this is true, and there is decent evidence that it is, then most of the people serving in the military (being volunteer based in the US) actually suffer from some sort of mental condition. Same for law enforcement and other types of volunteering organizations. Actually, the part about the military is known to be true. The US military used to have a psychiatric exam for all new volunteering recruits back in the 1950s and they quickly scrapped it as they discovered that most people volunteering for military service had some sort of mental disorder, usually tied to...family/parental neglect in childhood. So, these people are looking for their lost family and they thought they found it in the military. It is not a coincidence that so many of the veterans suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse even if they never saw combat first hand. They had these issues (or at least the beginning stages) before they even joined the military.

 

[Regina]

You have to be carful not to lump all desire to help with pathology. Yes, there is solid evidence that consistently/actively seeking for ways and opportunities to "help" is related to some sort of emotional disturbance, usually parental neglect in childhood (as you mentioned). But being willing to help when approached is actually the exact opposite. As I posted in another thread, egalitarian beliefs require good metabolism and egalitarian beliefs are usually required for empathy and desire to help. So, just like the symptoms of both low and high blood sugar being similar, these two opposites of the mental (metabolic) health range can have similar "symptoms" and be difficult to distinguish.
But to your point about seeking ways to help being tied to pathology - if this is true, and there is decent evidence that it is, then most of the people serving in the military (being volunteer based in the US) actually suffer from some sort of mental condition. Same for law enforcement and other types of volunteering organizations. Actually, the part about the military is known to be true. The US military used to have a psychiatric exam for all new volunteering recruits back in the 1950s and they quickly scrapped it as they discovered that most people volunteering for military service had some sort of mental disorder, usually tied to...family/parental neglect in childhood. So, these people are looking for their lost family and they thought they found it in the military. It is not a coincidence that so many of the veterans suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse even if they never saw combat first hand. They had these issues (or at least the beginning stages) before they even joined the military.

wrt to "egalitarian beliefs require good metabolism", I was re-reading and thinking about schizophrenia and psychosis over the last few days. Do you think this energy/metabolic dis-organization might also extend to the real creepo criminals? The serial killers and serious narcissistic manipulative sadists? (who don't kill but destroy their empathetic targets serially). Like they have an insatiable evil ghost who feeds on other's goodness.

 

[haidut]

wrt to "egalitarian beliefs require good metabolism", I was re-reading and thinking about schizophrenia and psychosis over the last few days. Do you think this energy/metabolic dis-organization might also extend to the real creepo criminals? The serial killers and serious narcissistic manipulative sadists? (who don't kill but destroy their empathetic targets serially). Like they have an insatiable evil ghost who feeds on other's goodness.

Of course, if you have seen clinically what serotonin does to a person's brain and behavior you'd see criminality in a different light. Check this out for an example of what serotonin does to organisms - it turns a mellow, peaceful organism (grasshopper) into a sadistic, insatiable monster (locust).
Genes do NOT matter (much)

Broda Barnes once said that if doctors understood endocrinology well psychiatry will disappear as a profession and patients will actually have a chance of a true cure. Right now, there is only institutionalization, overmedication, and often criminalization which works only to increase profits for private prison-running companies.

 

[Regina]

Of course, if you have seen clinically what serotonin does to a person's brain and behavior you'd see criminality in a different light. Check this out for an example of what serotonin does to organisms - it turns a mellow, peaceful organism (grasshopper) into a sadistic, insatiable monster (locust).
Genes do NOT matter (much)

Broda Barnes once said that if doctors understood endocrinology well psychiatry will disappear as a profession and patients will actually have a chance of a true cure. Right now, there is only institutionalization, overmedication, and often criminalization which works only to increase profits for private prison-running companies.

Thanks Haidut,

I can't wait to read this tonight.

It's amazing how much this is coming up in my real life with a variety of people with widely different roles or just "pass-through" roles in my life.
Whether they are a close family member, a friend, a teacher or just a contractor.
It's hard to know when to try to intervene. I've been conditioned (with eye rolls at the very least) to just disengage and avoid.

A girlfriend of mine posted a lengthy documentary on the horrors of Psychiatric treatment on FB. I didn't need to see it all to have the same thought as your Barnes citing. (since finding Peat and this forum).

 

[barbparadise]

My elderly grandmothers (both almost 90) perk up noticeably after 2-3 drops methylene blue. One of them has been taking vitamin K due to fractured hip. Both of them are no longer in need of their "senility" medication and are actually quite pleasant to be around. Just a few months ago they would just sit there and mindlessly repeat the same thing over and over again and keep calling people the wrong names. Not to mention being extremely hostile to anything that doesn't go their way. I think everybody needs to see this and the sudden change improved brain energetics brings about to understand how important (brain) metabolism is for mood, learning/flexibility, and everything else that makes a piece of meat human.

What dosage per-drop of Methylene Blue?

 

[Richiebogie]

Check this out for an example of what serotonin does to organisms - it turns a mellow, peaceful organism (grasshopper) into a sadistic, insatiable monster

Weston Price found in the 1930's that communities on traditional diets with excellent physical health (which included broader faces and fewer dental caries) also displayed better interpersonal skills and less criminality.

 

[Richiebogie]

My utmost respect to professional caregivers. Supermen/women among us.

Nurses are more removed emotionally from the situation than a child or grandchild who knew the patient when they were healthy and were cared for by the patient.

Nurses are also being paid which helps to keep it somewhat detached and professional.

Having multiple patients and limited time means that you focus on strategies that give most benefit rather than aiming for perfection.

The patients may be more likely to trust and respect the nurse than their own children.

(Ray Peaters are more likely to have left the mainstream which may seem like quackery to some.)

My mum's mum used to force mum to drink freshly squeezed orange juice and eat raw carrots when she was a child.

Mum has since avoided those foods and fruit her whole life.

What a nightmare for my mother if I ever tried that again! (I take after my grandma with avoiding doctors and seeking healthy food).

 

[haidut]

What dosage per-drop of Methylene Blue?

Total dose of 1mg - 2mg daily. Dose per drop varies depending on product.

 

[barbparadise]

Total dose of 1mg - 2mg daily. Dose per drop varies depending on product.

Thank you