Jennifer's Recovery Log

[narouz]

Hmm...had regular grocery store cheese or yogurt bothered you before the milk and juice based diet?

Not that I could tell.
I have a lot of theories.
One has to do with variety.
I've wondered if eating those same basic things over and over,
milk and oj, milk and oj,
whether that kind of mono-color diet could cause some problems.
If someone eats, say, a variety of organic veggies from their garden,
they would probably get a steady stream of bacteria (sorry, non-Peat stuff there :) )
that might be helpful in promoting/maintaining a balance of microbiome critters,
especially in the wake of antibiotics like you and I took
(avert your eyes, pboy! don't judge! don't judge!! )
In a little bit different (but still non-Peat/non-pboy) way,
eating such garden veggies would provide a much more varied food for microbiome critters.

Or it could be that a toxin, like aspergilis (sp?) in commercial cheeses,
maybe over time it begins to have a bad effect....

And that is just scratching the surface of my theories, Jennifer!

 

[narouz]

lol narouz, not quite

I know, I'm sorry man.
I caught you on a flat hair day.
And also, that was when you were an emaciated vegan!

These days, after years of Peating, and (sometimes) with a shower...

 

[Jennifer]

lol narouz, not quite

I know, I'm sorry man.
I caught you on a flat hair day.
And also, that was when you were an emaciated vegan!

These days, after years of Peating, and (sometimes) with a shower...

Ahh...yes! Pboy and his permanent pucker. That's because he's a lover, not a fighter.

 

[narouz]

That's because he's a lover, not a fighter.

Yes! But still a healthy dose of ruggedness, no?

 

[Jennifer]

That's because he's a lover, not a fighter.

Yes! But still a healthy dose of ruggedness, no?

Give him a day to grow a shadow and let me mess up his hair a little and then he'll have that healthy dose of ruggedness I like so much.

 

[narouz]

Give him a day to grow a shadow and let me mess up his hair a little and then he'll have that healthy dose of ruggedness I like so much.

Mind you, he can get pretty damn rugged.
I didn't want to over-do it...

 

[Jennifer]

Give him a day to grow a shadow and let me mess up his hair a little and then he'll have that healthy dose of ruggedness I like so much.

Mind you, he can get pretty damn rugged.
I didn't want to over-do it...

Okay, that's a little better! Maybe it's because it's Paul Newman. To me, he's like Brad Pitt. I think of them more as "male pretty" than rugged.

 

[narouz]

In a way, yes.
My theory is
that paul reincarnated back into pboy.
If you saw pboy in person...
the spitting image.
Well...much much more rugged.
Way more rugged.
No way you would call him pretty.
But you're exactly right about him being unphotographable.
You just get a landscape.

 

[pboy]

in reality, I have more of a boyish energy but I'm extremely tough in certain ways, completely not so, zero, in other ways. When it comes to having endurance or being brave in doing the right thing and experimenting with knew things and using my voice, its full on, standing up for things, making a fool of myself in front of people just to get people to open up and have a good time, but in terms of 'getting my hands dirty' kind of tough, if it involves filth or toxins I wont even take one step. If its dirt or natural things, its all good, like nature, gardening or wild animals (not so much domestic) but if its like something actually toxic I don't get near it. I love thrill, but not poison if that makes sense. If someone has to take one for the team knowing the outcome and sustainability of something is for a good cause ill do it without question if I think the people its for have good hearts and intentions. I'm more brave in the sense of casting out doubt and fear of voices or what is supposedly going to happen if I am doing the thing that I know will bring thrill and joy or has potential to elevate, or in cleaning up. If tough is considered fighting or doing what I consider inhumane things, or 'just do it man and don't think about it' or in the sense of like being a 'tough boss' I'm not that at all, and in fact, am incapable. My conscience and heart actually has control of me. I dont know if id be considered rugged, but tough with resolve, definitely, so i can be as rugged as i have to be depending on the situation. I cant use stimulants anymore they make me too giddy, like I'm totally non braced or clenched or tense so even a little stimulation like jacks me huge...for a while it wasn't that way, like when I was going through trying times in my life I was always adrenalized in a more defensive way and its the world of difference and I could use ton of stimulants and my heart was like braced so it could take it. In fact recently I had a revelation of sorts and my heart and joy centers like blew open, my heart rate has been way up and just enthuse of life, creative fun, and when I smoked I was like omg this is extremely powerful of a stimulant, something I haven't felt since maybe the first time ive smoked...nothing else changed except something within, a release of a certain tension . Basically I don't think I can smoke anymore! tobacco that is. I'm actually kind of shocked atm, like major major shifts happened within me very recently and I'm extremely dilated, I feel like a youth, as if I have a low dose theobromine in me all the time, like a prepubescent youth, lol, but of course not that. I'm just extremely dilated. My sense of taste and smell and vision, all my senses are more than ive felt in I don't know how long. I haven't taken any substances or anything to induce this. I guess for a while ive known how good life is but was afraid to feel it and be ok with that, so I was always slightly or actually more than slightly holding tension throughout, and ive somehow let that go...I knew my reality was on a different level than most other people (I'm not ranking but just like my appreciation of the magic of it, and what ive discovered and witnessed and my values) and I opened up to having my own personal relationship with it rather than letting whats going on around me in a way dictate. Its weird, I didn't quite realize I guess but there was like a sense of I'm not allowed to feel thrilled and let the heart be what I know is right and be my life. I guess most people have sin trapped in them because of their make up and what they partake in so they are unable to do this but I genuinely do my best all the time in terms of collateral karma I guess. I don't know how to explain it

I'm actually not that muscular as that pic lol, oh well. I feel good so that's kinda all that matters. I definitely don't wanna be gross or unappealing in any way just as good manners and to be able to be comfortable close to and around people and touching and stuff, but as far as getting huge muscles ive never been that interested. I have no clue what girls think of me to be honest...ive willingly exited the game for a while now, I get treated well so that's kinda a good cue I guess, and at least other guys never see me as a threat or someone with aggression...I end up hanging out with most people I meet or work with that seem cool. I guess Its clear immediately I'm more friendly, but not like ignorant or goodie or anything, than trying to prove or dominate

anyways I'm in a bit of a transition and a lot of shaking up happening in my life, in a good way actually but its also taking a lot of time and energy and dedication so I might be posting less for a little while. I bid my fellow Peatians an ado if I don't end up posting for a minute, I'm not leavin the forum just I don't think ill post a ton or really long posts. Especially whenever I see and make changes I almost feel unqualified to talk about stuff til I know I have it down

on a side note, ive never liked being in pictures. Even now! I don't know why, especially like where I know its coming and I'm supposed to smile or pose, I just cant do it. I never understood why everyone else is so into it... I mean maybe one or two for like a school year book or something, A little while back when I was working I had this feeling of someone watching me and I turned around and this girl had her phone out taking a picture of me and it just makes me feel like antsy and uncomfortable...its like commonplace now days for people to take selfies and stuff which I dont get. I think I have a sense that like if I'm in a photo it means I'm trying to prove something or show something specific which I don't really ever do. Back in the day I was in some action shots at parties which later on are pretty hilarious to look at, but in terms of knowing I'm having a picture of me taken I wont do it. In a way I guess I'm like Peat where whenever in interviews they ask him ' do you want to add anything? or do you have anything else to say?' hes always just like...'um, no!'...yet if someone asks him a specific question, he always answers them...I feel him in that sense...I think it has to do with not really having an ego or trying to prove a personality. Like when people ask me 'what kind of music do you listen to or who's your favorite band?' its like they are gonna judge me and categorize me and whatever, I hate that kinda question, and the honest answer I give is 'I like anything that's good' In job interviews they ask me like 'what do people think of you? or what was time you did this or that or things you are regretful for' ect ect, and its like...I cant ever answer those things. I'm like...dude ive done my best really, and I don't know what people think of me, ask them! I can guess but it seems like I'm just trying to boost myself of something and it feels totally whack

 

[tara]

Hi Jennifer,
Yes, it spread. I put what I was aware of in a dedicated thread last year, including adding in highish dose riboflavin, on the basis of studies showing it helped some people significantly with mgraine. I'm reluctant to stop this one, because it feels as though all the Bs I'm taking do me good when I take them, but I'm aware Peat has said riboflavin can be allergenic for some people.

I don't handle aged cheeses well, as far as I can tell. They seem to be a stronger migraine trigger than plain milk or fresh homemade calf rennet cheese, which both do the foggy head thing if I eat enough (but OK if I just have a little, and avoid it when I'm on the edge). I think powdered milk may be worse. With aged cheeses, I speculate that it could be histamine or other products of fermentation instead of/as well as the straight milk content. Aged cheeses are a common migraine trigger, I gather. Yogurt and keffir are no better - I guess histamine and lactic acid.

I've made a couple of unsuccessful attempts at potato juice with my blender. I recently bought a juicer but haven't tried it yet. Lack of sleep is a contributor to my issues, so when I most need better food is when I have least time and energy to make it happen. I still intend to try this, though. If it works well, I guess I can freeze a few servings for when I urgently need it. No space in my freezer for more supplies, though. :)

 

[Jennifer]

Well, hopefully no one thought I was serious! I was just playing around. I don't think toughness, muscles or a five o'clock shadow are what make a man, a man. To me, a father playing with his kids is just as manly as some guy riding a steed. Besides, nothing beats a sweet guy, in my book.

And I'm with you on the pictures, pboy. I'd rather be behind a camera than in front of one.

I'm glad things are shaking up for you in a good way! :)

 

[Jennifer]

tara,

I had the same reactions with yogurt, kefir and aged cheese. I thought it was histamines also, but my histamine test came back normal so I'm thinking in my case it was just the bacteria adding to my overgrowth.

I can understand not having the energy to make the PPS. It's so time consuming and involved and when your head is in a cloud, it's even more draining. I had found potato juice already made up that I could of ordered from the health food store, but it was really expensive so I decided to make it myself. I actually made it on two occasions and both times I wished I had just ordered it from the store. LOL

I hope you find relief soon and that rash finally clears.

 

[narouz]

...anyways I'm in a bit of a transition and a lot of shaking up happening in my life, in a good way actually but its also taking a lot of time and energy and dedication so I might be posting less for a little while. I bid my fellow Peatians an ado if I don't end up posting for a minute, I'm not leavin the forum just I don't think ill post a ton or really long posts. Especially whenever I see and make changes I almost feel unqualified to talk about stuff til I know I have it down...

I really enjoyed that post, pboy!
It's good to know that you're still experimenting, trying new things.
Please don't be a stranger and keep us updated!

 

[Jennifer]

So this will be my last post. It's been quite the ride. I'm certain I'll never be the same and I consider that a good thing. I learned what it means to be true to one's self. At times it's scary, painful, lonely and a bit embarrassing, but so much better than the alternative and a heck of a lot funnier. :P And when you realize that who you are is more than alright, well, for me it feels like taking that first breath after having held it most of my life.

I also learned that letting go isn't weak. It's one of the bravest things we can do. With letting go, you're reminded of what you stand to lose. All that time and energy invested only to leave behind all you acquired and set out on an unmarked route. And when you've been taught since birth to follow rules, to have a plan and the no pain no gain mentality, letting go can be terrifying, but it can also be freeing. I think there's great power in knowing when to hold on and when to let go.

For a while there, I became my disease. I forgot what it meant to be healthy. I forgot I had a choice and I forgot that I know me. I know I'm not a girl to follow someone just because they have credentials, a book deal or a blog. I know I'm not a girl who sees life in absolutes. I'm a girl who believes in the impossibles becoming possible. I'm a girl who sees all the exceptions laced throughout the rules and thank heavens for that! I'm standing today because of this.

My favorite threads here are the logs. I think it's an amazing thing to have a forum that lets us share our journey. Though, I may not have always left comments, I've read them all. I think it takes a lot of courage to let others see the messy parts of ourselves so I'm grateful people are willing to open up and willing to hear each other out. Thank you, Mr. Charlie for giving us a platform where we can air the good, the bad and everything in between and thank you to those who support in an openminded and compassionate way. I've truly appreciated all the help, kind words and songs sent my way, from members both past and present. I'll never forget it. Sending much love to all you amazing miracles. I'll miss you lots!

P.S. To those still recovering, please never forget that the light at the end of your tunnel is you. You've got this! I believe in you!

For the logs final songs...

"Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
and what you've been out there searching for forever is in your hands."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ChPAoacVen4

And I can't leave this log devoid of my favorite song...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B3kFPBtc9BE

 

[tara]

All the best Jennifer.
Let us know how things are going when you want to. :)

 

[pboy]

I thought I had posted a response but I guess with the forum shuffling it didn't get posted...so ill summarize what I wrote I guess. Basically I'm happy for you Jenn, ive been hinting that its better to not identify as being on a healing journey but rather just a life journey. I think you're a fantastic girl with a great spirit, I really don't give compliments often, and only if I mean it, and I find your spirit inspiring cause its rare and I just sense something good about it. I think we somehow are synched in time lol, parallel themes going on in our lives with different details. Trust your heart and joy compass, and don't feel obliged to tell anyone what you eat, what you take, what you do or anything, its all for you, for your joy, for your spirit and relish being your own person and trusting in and following your own signals, in all facets of life. I think it'll be good for you to not be bombarded by advice lol, it should clear and restore your own perception and trust. You don't have to respond to this if you don't want I understand cause then it might just be a hook, but if you ever wanna chat I think if I get a PM here, even if I don't log in anymore, it'll email me. I bid you warm farewell and I know you'll be fine

 

[narouz]

We'll miss you, Jennifer,
so I hope you'll pop back in from time to time.
It was great to hear all the bits and pieces of your life
you wrote about so vividly.

 

[charlie]

Jennifer,

until we meet again.

 

[peatmoss]

@Jennifer sorry to resurrect this old thread, but i was curious as to what you have learned that was helpful in your quest for health? I see you have tried a lot of different things from mino to no dairy and everything in between. What has been some of the most helpful things you have come across? Diet wise, supplements, pharmaceuticals?

 

[Jennifer]

@Jennifer sorry to resurrect this old thread, but i was curious as to what you have learned that was helpful in your quest for health? I see you have tried a lot of different things from mino to no dairy and everything in between. What has been some of the most helpful things you have come across? Diet wise, supplements, pharmaceuticals?

No need to apologize, peatmoss. So much has happened and changed in my life since I ended this log. I actually have another log that I started back in 2018 after I had been following Dr. Robert Morse’s protocol for a few years, and I update it periodically. If you’re interested, below is a link to my most recent update. It’s quite long, but I think I answer your questions in it, however, if you need further explanation, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Jennifer's Cellular Regeneration Log

I am sorry for your loss Jennifer. I don't know if it's of much help but I remember Ray replying to a question about losing a loved one: " It activates the “helplessness” reactions in the body, stress weakening your own life, and I think it can help to get out of that if you think of your life...

raypeatforum.com

I planned on doing another update soon because I mentioned in my update above how I started training to climb mountains again and I’ve made a lot of progress.